Just to Be Alive

"Sometimes just to be alive is enough."

-- Suzuki Roshi

We spend alot of  life trying. Trying to achieve success, trying to overcome obstacles, trying to make money, trying to be happy, trying, trying, trying... Perhaps if we put less emphasis on trying, and more on just being, some of those things that we've tried so hard to make happen would just happen of their own accord. Or they wouldn't. And either way, it would be OK.

Just being alive has its own joys, its own rewards. There is both a wild exuberance and a calm centeredness that comes from accepting and enjoying the mere act of existence. Breathing, walking, sitting, smiling are appreciated like never before. As aliveness pulses through us, we know "enoughness," perhaps for the first time.

Today I received an email from a friend about the death of one of our high school classmates. I didn't know the guy well, and I probably hadn't seen him since high school, but his passing made me glad "just to be alive" all the more. You know, we are born with no agenda; there is nothing that we have to do while we're here. And yet, we miss the aliveness of so many days pursuing desires, running from fears, buckling under to shoulds and ought to's, being consumed by the minor little adminsitrivia of life.

Just for today, focus on merely being alive. Make today International Alive Day! Sure, do what you think you really have to do, but even as you're doing it, don't worry about the outcome, just experience being alive. Who knows? You may actually enjoy it, and start  just being alive on a regular basis. Personally, I can think of no better way to live.

Eating Uncertainty for Breakfast

"If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness, and creativity."

-- Eckhart Tolle

If you're not uncertain about damn near everything you're asleep at the wheel! The sin qua non of life is uncertainty. In other words, certainty is a myth on par with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and compassionate conservatives. It is found nowhere in nature, and it is not a component, or quality, of reality. Hard, bold fact: There's no certainty in life. Get it? 

What there is is change. Perpetual, ubiquitous change. And that's a good thing, it keeps the juices flowing, keeps entropy at bay, keeps life interesting. Our role, first and foremost, in this whole process is not to become "agents of change," but to accept the uncertainty that comes hand-in-hand with natural, perpetual change. I ain't saying you have to love it (yet), but you do have to accept it, or you're stuck in the mud of resistance.

And it's not just uncertainty and change that require your acceptance -- it's all and everything. Acceptance of what is is the only sane response to reality and, joy of joys, the cognitive precursor to love. 

What's love got to do with it? Everything. Love is the Great Redeemer of both you and the world. By all external standards, the world's a friggin' mess! A mess just aching for love. Not unlike your own messy heart. Acceptance is the first step -- accept it today, love it tomorrow, or perhaps many tomorrows down the road, but with acceptance at least you're on the road and no longer stuck in the ditch of resistance and despair. 

Huh? Just try it. Each time you start to feel anxious and uncertain today, banish the anxiety by letting the uncertainty be. Be a Beatle, and "let it be." Accept it. And then see if Eckhart is right. Do you feel increasingly alive, alert and creative? If not, relax into an even deeper level of acceptance. Embrace the uncertainty, merge with it, let it permeate your being, and see. 

It's the Great Acceptance Experiment, and you're part of it everyday. You, the magical alchemist, transforming the dross of uncertainty into the gold of love with one simple, little ingredient -- acceptance.

Nothing to Prove

"We have nothing to prove. We have been placed in the life-stream of time, and all there is to being is living naturally and authentically. No justification is needed."

-- William G. Cunningham. Empowerment: Vitalizing Personal Energy, p. 45.

Your existence needs no rationalization. You are here. That alone is proof of your right to be. 

You need not be anything or anyone in particular. There is no role that you have to play, no expectation you need fulfill. Natural and authentic pretty much says it all.

And yet, as simple as "natural and authentic" sounds, it ain't necessarily easy. Other people are the problem Aren't they always!? I'm only being half facetious here. Others, especially others who have not yet learned to accept themselves, have all kinds of rules, regulations and expectations that they'd like to place upon you. 

Of course, you can avoid, ignore or confront them. And each of these strategies has its place. But here's a fourth strategy, a meta-strategy, that I'd like to suggest: Love them. You know what they really need, what they really want, is love. And because they have yet to learn to accept and love themselves, they are laying all kinds of shit on you. Kind of convoluted, I know, but that's how the normally neurotic human mind works. 

Just don't make love into another "should." Love is never a should, it's always a choice. And the funny thing is that you can choose to love even those people that you don't really like. That's because like comes from personality and love comes from core. You can think that a guy's a mean, rotten son-of-a-bitch, and still feel immense love for him. Granted, it's a bit confusing and disconcerting at first, but it's really quite a high expression of being natural and authentic on two levels simultaneously. 

And so we've come full circle, back to you, back to your natural, authentic self. Your only real business here is to find that space of naturalness and authenticity and live from it. Day after day, each day anew. Do that, and all the rest of life will take care of itself.

The Natural Capacity for Love

"Psychic illnesses are the result of a disturbance of the natural capacity for love."

-- Wilhelm Reich

What Wilhelm calls "psychic illnesses" are what we, today, call psychological problems, emotional disturbances or neuroses. You know, craziness.

And we all have it to varying degrees. We all get upset, literally, over nothing. Nothing other than the drama that is playing out between our ears. 

And what produces our way, way off Broadway dysfunctional theater? Our inability to accept, actualize, and embrace our "natural capacity for love." We temporarily lose our ability to both give and receive the most essential of all human nutrients -- love.

What I notice, personally, is that everytime I am upset, I have fallen out of touch with love. I'm either not loving the moment, not loving others, or not loving myself. And many times I'm caught up in the Not Loving Triple Whammy -- I don't love any of the three! Not loving drives us crazy!

The Crazy Cure is simple -- start loving again. Begin with the things you have a natural affinity for and work from there. Let them be the doorways into a deeper love. If you love a particular type of music, listen to some of it, sing along with it, or, better yet, get up and dance! If you can;'t immediately love the person, love the color of their sweater. 

Be the Love Detective, the Miss Marple of Amore, The Sherlock Holmes of Agape.  In every situation, find at least one thing you can love about it. With every person, find at least one thing you love about them. And with yourself, realize that you are in your heart of hearts a lean, mean loving machine!

Like all the really important things in life, it's simple really. Restoring our natural capacity for love begins with acceptance. And acceptance requires the relinquishing of judgments. Here you are. This is your life. It may not be the life the you imagined, the life you envisioned. You may not be your ideal you. The people all around you may fall far short of your high falutin' standards of perfection.

No matter. Here you are. On first blush, the here and now may look so tawdry, so lacking compared to your fantasies. In reality, the only thing lacking is love. Love redeems, and you, my friend are the redeemer. No messiah, no savior, no one else. The waiting is over. Love.

A Slippery Slope

"All you have to do is decide that wherever you are is the best place there is. Once you start comparing one place to another there is no end to it."

-- Sodo Yokoyama

It seems like I spend half the winter complaining that it's winter. I'd rather be anguishing in Tahiti or swimming in Florida or baking in Arizona or snuggled deeply in the devils' jockstrap -- anywhere as long as it's warm! And yet, year after year, I spend most of my winter in the frozen tundra of the great Midwest.

Now it doesn't take a Zen master like Sodo Yokoyama to see that I'm wasting my time complaining, but you may have to be damn near a Zen master not to fall into the complaint trap yourself. For you, it may have nothing to do with winter. You may spend half your day at work wishing you were somewhere, anywhere, else. Or you may wish you lived not in the tiny crackerbox you now inhabit, but rather on a white-fenced horse farm, in a suburban McMansion, or in a penthouse with breathtaking views.

It doesn't matter what you're comparing -- all comparisons are odious. All comparisons, whether they are geographic in nature or not, are merely a refusal to accept reality. Each time you compare you are basically saying, "if I were God, if I were in charge of this here universe, you can bet your sweet ass things would be a damn sight different around here."

Here's a little secret -- nothing that you want to change really matters. Sure I could move to Florida, or find a way to "winter" there, but do you for one moment think that my new environment would stop me from comparing and complaining? Hell no! I've spent alot of time in Florida and the summers are too damn hot and humid, and there are way too many friggin' bugs, and in the nicest places there are almost more people than there are grains of sand, which reminds me that the beaches are really never as nice as I remember them... and on and on ad nauseum.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't try and improve or change your life. What I am saying is that the biggest improvement or change that you can make is to give up the judgmental comparing mind, give up your war with reality, and realize that this place is the best place, that now is the best time, and that joy comes not so much from achievement as from acceptance.

Comparison is indeed a slippery slope. Once you start, you're on a downward slide straight to Hades. Nothing is ever good enough. Not even you. Especially you.

So, let's take a stance. Right here, right now -- acceptance of what is, of where we are, of who we are. Instead of looking around in a fit of comparison, let's look God straight in the eye. Thanks, Big Guy.

Your Inner Asshole

"I can only understand and love you when I accept me. I can only live life without bitterness when I accept me. When I accept the ashole within me, the entire world becomes saints."

-- Ananda Abinou

Sure, you've got God within you. That inner spark of the Divine may be small, but it burns oh so brightly. Every yogi worth his loin cloth, every Christ worth his cross has told you that. And still you don't believe it, you don't live as if you and the Primordial Ground of Being are One.

So, let's try a different approach. You may not be able to accept your own divinity, but if you're truly honest with yourself, you know there are times when you're a real asshole! You know, those times when ego takes over, when you are far less than loving, when you hold a grudge, or judge others harshly, or eat the last piece of chocolate when you've already had more than your share. Let's capitalize on that insight into your lesser qualities. Let's enter the Divine through the back door. Let's head straight to Heaven through your inner asshole!

It's simple: You look at the worst of your behavior and learn to accept it. Simple, not necessarily easy. Whatever you've thought, done, or felt does not define you. You let it go, and lo and behold, you're still standing. Accepting your worst behavior does not mean that you indulge it, though. Truly seeing it takes you through it and beyond it. Then, you, too, will be on the road to the World of Saints that Ananda talks about above.

You avoid your Light because it shines too bright. You avoid your darkness because it's way too scary. But sometimes there is a certain comfort in the dark. It is at least familiar. And so you enter it. When you do, you have entered the Path of the Inner Asshole. When you accept yourself completely -- all the warts, pimples, and blemishes on your soul -- you also can accept others completely, accept the world completely. And then, everyone is a saint, all of life is divine.

Sure, you've come in through the back door. Who cares? Take a shower, relax. You're home.

Nothing

"I expect nothing. I demand nothing. I refuse nothing."

-- Nisargadatta Maharaj

Imagine living your life without expectations, without demands, and with total acceptance. Can you do it? Not the living -- just the imagining. Even imagining such a life is hard for me to do because our expectations, demands and refusals are so subtle and insidious.

We enter each day with expectations, be they grand, catastrophic, or somewhere in between. We may not think of ourselves as demanding, but all our wishes are just wimpy demands. Everytime we think that reality "should" be different than it is, we are being psychologically demanding, even if we don't manifest those demands verbally. And don't even get me started on refusal! Not only do we refuse so much of what life offers us -- from free drinks to life lessons, form laughter to the beauties of nature -- we refuse to even notice the opportunities placed before us daily, and instead complain about the economy, the weather, our partners, or the ineptitude of our favorite sports teams.

Imagining a life sans expectations, demands and refusals is the first step. Then make one day, perhaps today, a day to gather data. Keep count of exactly the times throughout the day you find yourself expecting, demanding and refusing. Don't try and change your behavior one iota, just keep track of those three things. This will give you a baseline reading, show you the scope of the challenge that Maharaj's nine small words represent.

Finally, let go! Let go of E, D & R. See what life is like when you accept it on its own terms rather than compel it to remake itself in your image. You may be surprised. You may find letting go of these three powerful patterns damn near impossible to do. At least at first.

But then, if you keep at it, you may discover that reality is not such a bad thing after all, and that you have much more energy to enjoy it when you are no longer in a battle with it. First be E, D, & R free, then just see.

Equal Acceptance for All

"The ultimate plateau of civilization is that we would all accept each other equally."

-- Julie Harris

And, might I add, "unconditionally."

Why do we fear acceptance so much? Is it because we feel that if we accept others we are condoning their behavior, and lots of times they're doing stuff we really don't approve of? Is it because we confuse acceptance with weakness or dishonesty? Do we not accept because we like to discriminate between good and bad and right and wrong, and we're afraid that unconditional acceptance will ruin that delightfully delicious game?

To accept someone doesn't mean that you have given them the Nobel Prize, your daughter's hand in marriage, or the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. It simply means that you are no longer in a battle with reality. Acceptance is coming to the realization that everyone is as they are in this very moment and your acceptance, or lack thereof, does nothing to change that. Each moment of acceptance is a minor satori, a mini form of enlightenment.

To truly accept means, though, that you must lay down all external standards of judgement, at least in relation to each and every individual's right to be. Acceptance doesn't mean that you have to give up your preferences. It does mean, however, that you don't use those preferences to make others wrong.

Acceptance is an understanding that each of us is a child of God, a child of the Universe, a child of Life. None of us are bastards or adoptees, or step children; each of us are co-equal in claiming our divine inheritance.

One of the best ways to practice acceptance is to look at each person and breathe them into your heart. Don't know what this means? Try it and you soon will. Looking with eyes open, breathing with heart open, smiling with mind at ease -- acceptance comes. And with it, maybe even love.