Nothing to Prove

"We have nothing to prove. We have been placed in the life-stream of time, and all there is to being is living naturally and authentically. No justification is needed."

-- William G. Cunningham. Empowerment: Vitalizing Personal Energy, p. 45.

Your existence needs no rationalization. You are here. That alone is proof of your right to be. 

You need not be anything or anyone in particular. There is no role that you have to play, no expectation you need fulfill. Natural and authentic pretty much says it all.

And yet, as simple as "natural and authentic" sounds, it ain't necessarily easy. Other people are the problem Aren't they always!? I'm only being half facetious here. Others, especially others who have not yet learned to accept themselves, have all kinds of rules, regulations and expectations that they'd like to place upon you. 

Of course, you can avoid, ignore or confront them. And each of these strategies has its place. But here's a fourth strategy, a meta-strategy, that I'd like to suggest: Love them. You know what they really need, what they really want, is love. And because they have yet to learn to accept and love themselves, they are laying all kinds of shit on you. Kind of convoluted, I know, but that's how the normally neurotic human mind works. 

Just don't make love into another "should." Love is never a should, it's always a choice. And the funny thing is that you can choose to love even those people that you don't really like. That's because like comes from personality and love comes from core. You can think that a guy's a mean, rotten son-of-a-bitch, and still feel immense love for him. Granted, it's a bit confusing and disconcerting at first, but it's really quite a high expression of being natural and authentic on two levels simultaneously. 

And so we've come full circle, back to you, back to your natural, authentic self. Your only real business here is to find that space of naturalness and authenticity and live from it. Day after day, each day anew. Do that, and all the rest of life will take care of itself.

The Last Iceman

"The last iceman always makes money."

--anonymous

Way back before your time and my time, sometime around the beginning of the last century, there were no refrigerators. People had "ice boxes" instead. Ice was placed in the bottom of an insulated container and that's how food was kept cold. Sort of like a really big cooler or giant ice chest.

Well, along came refrigeration, and universal electricity, and the ice men, who used to deliver ice to your door for your ice box, started dropping like flies. There was no longer any need for them, so they quickly went out of business.

All except one. He may have had foresight, but more likely he was just stubborn. He hung onto the ice business for dear life, and pretty soon, he was the only game in town. It's his grandkids and great grandkids who own the ice company that provides all that bagged ice for mini-marts, picnics, weddings, and other large events. They're doing quite well, thank you, and all because of the persistence of one old man.

And so, while society can no longer support tens of thousands of independent ice men, it can support a few. And the few are the ones who refuse to follow trends, jump on band wagons, or adapt to, or adopt, the latest and greatest. They are the contrarians who everyone laughs at, and who return the favor by laughing all the way to the bank. They are the blacksmiths and chimney sweeps and craftspeople and artisan bread bakers and micro brewers who refuse to give up old fashioned ways for the bigger, the newer, the flashier.

Not a day, hell not an hour, goes by without some pundit telling you what you have to do to be successful. How you have to use social media, or get more education, or be cross-trained, or become technologically savvy, or... the list just goes on and on. All these prognosticators are well meaning, and all are dead wrong.

You don't have to do any of that stuff. You just have to do what you really want to do with intelligence, passion and grace. You may be "the last iceman" of your field or profession. You may be the one who happily refuses to join the rat race because, frankly, you don't like running with rats. And by being a new millennium holdout, you may be one of the happiest, most successful people around.

The choice is yours. It always is. Don't get swept up in the frenzy to become the hippest kid on the block. Make your ice. Make your money. Enjoy the ride.

Steppin' Out

"The more you are out of step with society, the greater your chances for self-discovery and happiness in this world."

-- Ernie J. Zelinski

I grew up in a family where the number one rule was: Don't Make Waves. Blend in, get along, be, as the Kinks sang "a well respected man about town, doing the best things so conservatively." It was the Gospel of Conformity coupled with the Gospel of Comfort. And even though my parents had the best of intentions, it was all a crock.

From the time I slid down that Zoom Floom commonly known as the uterine canal, I intuitively knew that it was a sham, and when I reached my tween years, I was openly expressing those sentiments. Not a popular position to take, either around the dinner table or in the classroom. To me authenticity, even idiosyncrasy, trumped conformity any day.

Just take a look around. It's easy to see that you can't be a clone and be happy. You can't be a robot and be happy. The only shot you have at happiness is to be yourself. And, if you're really, truly being yourself, odds are you'll be stepping outside societal norms and shattering the invisible cultural barriers that surround us all.

Many of us take an alternative route during out teens and early twenties. Then we age and mellow and settle. And before we know it we're wage slaves just like our parents, except we're dressed in "business casual" rather then suits. We're putting in our time, waiting for the weekends, waiting to retire, waiting to really live. Only real life never comes because there is no real life off somewhere in the future. This is it -- right here, right now. And we're too busy being good, being stable, playing a role to enjoy it.

Remember that beat Thoreau talked about? It's still rocking within you! Your own personal beat, as unique as your fingerprints, as different from the cultural drone as hip hop is from the waltz. That beat is your unique path. That beat is the one thing most worth listening to.

Maybe Timothy Leary was right. "Turn on, tune in, drop out" is ultimately good advice. And you don't even need drugs to do it. Turn on to the energy of life, tune into the beat of your soul, drop out of the societal fantasy of conformity.

Step out now. Happiness awaits!