Buttonhole Fame

"I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous, or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular, but because it never forgot what it could do."

-- Naomi Shihab Nye

What can you do? What can you do enjoyably and well? It may never get you on Dancing With the Stars, or the cover of Time Magazine or in the web's newest viral video, but who cares? If you do what you do for fame and fortune, you've already missed the boat. Don't "keep your eye on the prize," keep it on the task at hand -- that's where the real action is.

Naomi knows this. Pulleys and buttonholes trump new media sensations, fifteen minutes of famers, and shallow celebrities. You can count on pulleys and button holes and thousands of other little things to do what they're suppose to do every time without complaint. Can the same be said about you?

We are conditioned to want to be on the silver screen, in the NFL, running a multi-national corporation, or winning the inane contests seen on so-called "reality TV." We are then sold products designed to fill the holes left in our psyches when those absurd vocational dreams are left unfulfilled.

Don't fall for it. If fame comes to you, let it come for some really outstanding work you've done and not merely because you've become the media darling du jour. If you're lucky, it won't come your way at all. And you'll go button holing and pullying along your merry way. Providing an essential service way out of the spotlight, you can be you, do your thing and prosper. Sounds like a fine life to me.

Keep Dancing!

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."

-- Hillel

Hillel's journey parallels our own exactly. Except that some of us whine "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up," even when we can. And many more of us get up, but have long ago quit dancing.

Falling down is a given. Getting up, while not mandatory, is a damn good idea. Lying there bemoaning your fate never got anyone anywhere.

But dancing, dancing's the key! While the falling down and getting up are a part and parcel of life, it's dancing that makes life worth living; it's boogying your butt off that makes life fun. Give up dancing, and you've given up truly living.

So dance with a partner or dance alone. Dance the steps you learned when young, or do that whirling, hippie, free form dancing that you see at jam band shows.

No matter. It's not a contest. It's not something inane, like Dancing With the Stars. It's life. And it's meant to be a celebration, a party.

Dance on and on and on.......

To Be a Friend

"To be a friend is to step into the stream of another's life."

-- Todd May

Facebook friends, work friends, old high school friends, friends with benefits -- there are all kinds of friends out there. Some merely stick their big toe into the stream of your life; others jump right in and cause a big splash.

We need all kinds, but perhaps the best, the most important friends, are the ones willing to be there in the thick of things with us, no matter what. They're not location-specific, or time-bound. They're not just your friends because you happen to work together or live next door to each other. They don't show up in an instant and fade out the next. They are with us for the long haul. Not only do they step into the stream of our lives, they let our streams co-mingle so that our lives nourish and impact each other.

One of the reasons that these soul friends are so important is that they are so rare. Most of us can count their number on one hand. That's OK. Three to five really good, lifelong friends is plenty -- we've each got a stream, not an ocean! You know who they are; they know who you are, without either of you having to say a damn thing about it. (OK, except maybe when you're both really drunk, and you get them in a headlock and slur, "I love you, buddy!").

But just because you don't talk about it, doesn't mean that you don't recognize the richness that these relationships bring to your life. One of the most wonderful things about these soul friendships is that you don't have to try to maintain them -- they are a given. That doesn't mean, though, that you should take them for granted.

Is there a true friend out there that you've not paid much attention to lately? If so, today is a great day to consciously reach out, give back, or show some form of appreciation. Go wade into the stream of their life for awhile, or invite them to sashay into yours. Hell, if they're really good friends, invite them to leap in, skinny dip and do the backstroke!

Did You Not Live?

"I did nothing today. What? Did you not live? That is not only the most fundamental but also the most illustrious of your occupations."

-- Montaigne

Damn, we're busy, little beavers! We're always doing, running, going. And to what avail? So we can go deeper into debt to buy more crap we don't really need?

What if we changed our definition of success? What if we no longer thought of it as doing the most, having the most, achieving the most? What if we redefine success as enjoyment of life?

As Montaigne so forthrightly points out, our numero uno vocation is simply to live. All the rest is icing on the cake. And while I like icing as much as the next guy, we've got it piled on so thick and deep that we can no longer taste the natural sweetness of life itself. It's all frosting all the time, and as we all know frosting's got no damn nutrients whatsoever!

Have you forgotten about the joys of breathing, of moving, of perceiving? Do you miss the most fundamental bliss of being alive?

Well, it's hard to miss something you can't even remember experiencing. So think back to your childhood. Specifically, remember the long, luxurious summer days of your youth when just being outside and being alive made your blood pulse with excitement.

Ford used to to use the tagline "Quality is job 1." And they were right, it is. Quality of life is always your number one job, today and everyday. Are you experiencing it? Or are you chasing the golden ring with such intensity that your quality of life has gone straight down the crapper?

You live today. And if you live fully, openly, whole-heartedly, that, alone, is enough.

Is life serious?

"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."

-- Brendan Gill

Life demands so little of us. We must drink some water, eat some food, and, of course, keep breathing. That's about it. Everything else is optional. And yet, we continue to place all sorts of crazy-ass demands upon ourselves in the name of life. We take something (life) that is by it's very nature neutral at worst, joyous at best, and we turn it into something that is oh so serious.

Why? No one knows. It's what we are taught. It's based on fear, possibly, and the misguided notion, that if we don't take life seriously, we will either have "wasted it," or life itself (or God as life's agent) will get pissed off and bite us on the ass. As Brendan points out, even though these erroneous beliefs may be unthinkingly held by most of us, most of the time, there is not one iota of evidence to support the "life is serious" proposition. Life just is. Serious is our own little add-on.

So, let's say we decide not to subscribe to the seriousness theory, what does that do? First and foremost, it frees us. If life is not serious, we can enjoy it, play with it, accept it, be with it just as it presents itself. We can be outrageous, idiosyncratic, individualistic, and just plain silly without offending the supposed seriousness of life. We can be naturally ourselves, in a natural world unburdened by notions of should, have to, and you better.

But don't take Brendan's or my word for it. Try a little personal experiment. Approach the day without the serious tag attached. Relax into it. Do what needs to be done, enjoy it as much as you can, but don't make it all mean so damn much. Everything that happens is merely a life or death matter. That's all. People say "It's not a life or death matter," meaning it's not that serious. In reality it's all a life or death matter, and none of it is serious!

You see, what we call life and death are merely two ways that nature expresses itself, two modes of being. No big deal. Totally sacred, never serious. All of it. You included. Life is for living. Nothing else. Just live it. Or let it live you. And when you do, my guess is, you'll feel an amazing inner smile!

The Reality of Prayer

"I found that prayer works alot better with big players."

-- Knute Rockne

Is here anything that's more of a waste of time than prayers of petition? OK, maybe watching Survivor, American Idol, or any other reality show you can name, but that's about it. In fact reality shows and petitionary prayer have about the same actual degree of reality -- none.

Do you think God really cares who wins a football game? Of course not. So why then would the Supreme Being, the Primordial Energy, the Operating Principle of the Universe care about your petty personal concerns? He/She/It doesn't.

God is not a person. God is Reality, Itself. God is not going to alter the course of What Is merely because your ego is offended by it. God is not going to intervene in what has lawfully transpired. It is up to you to align yourself with Reality; it is not up to God to rearrange Reality to suit you.

So make a resolution, actually two resolutions: Give up watching crap on TV and give up asking some super power to intervene and make the world different than it is. You want the world to be different? Use all the time you're saving by not watching televised bullshit and invest it in making the world a better place. True, your football team still may not win (especially if it's Notre Dame), and your cat may not be cured of kitty leukemia, but at least you'll be actively engaged on the playing field of life rather than enmeshed in a fantasy of being saved by some old, bearded daddy in the sky.

Big players have big ideas, big effort, big joy. And that all adds up to a big, a real BIG, life.