Stop Doing Unhappy!

"Then it hit me -- being unhappy was something I'd been doing, and when I stopped doing it, I reverted to my natural state, which is happy."

-- Orson Bean

Unhappiness doesn't just happen. We make it happen. We do unhappiness. How? By how we focus our attention. By focusing upon what we don't like, on what we find negative or lacking, we conjure up internal storm clouds of unhappiness. Doing unhappiness is tough mental work!

It begins with judging. We awaken. The world is as it is. For some reason, though, we feel that it is our role to judge the world and project upon it how we think it should be. If it's raining, it should be sunny dammit, and so we become unhappy. If lying in bed next to us is an imperfect person, they should be smarter, richer, prettier, better, or at least they should appreciate us more! We should all over ourselves and the world all the time, and all it does is increase our unhappiness!

The moment you stop judging, condemning, and shoulding, you start undoing unhappiness. You don't need to repeat positive affirmations. You don't need to visualize a perfect world. You don't need to channel disembodied beings of light or believe that Jesus died for your sins. Just accept what is. 

Acceptance is the great slayer of the dragon of unhappiness. Or for you techie types, acceptance is the reset button that returns your mind to its original, factory setting -- a natural state of happiness. Out of acceptance grows appreciation. Once you quit arguing with reality, you begin to see that it is pretty damn cool! The rain brings the flowers, the person lying in bed next to you gets up and makes some kick ass blueberry pancakes.

Flowers and pancakes are great, but they're merely icing on the cake. True happiness begins within. Quit doing unhappiness, and lo and behold, happiness is all that's left. You happy. Or if you want to get real Zen about it -- no you, just happy. Either way, unhappy no more.

Beyond Sentimentality

"If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable."

-- Teddy in J.D. Salinger's short story "Teddy"

In our culture we too often mistake sentimentality for love. We almost universally equate attachment with love.

Love is neither sentimentality nor attachment. Love is ruthless! Love is totally fierce and unconditional. It is a blazing fire, not a warm bath.

True love is not even an emotion -- it is a state of consciousness. It is a state of heart-on-fire, unconditional positive regard. It requires nothing in response, nothing in return. Love is never bartered or exchanged, it is always given freely, almost uncontrollably.

In a certain state of consciousness, at a certain point in time, you realize that love is the only rational way to approach everyone, to approach life. You don't pick and choose whom to love -- you either love all or none at all. You become love rather than give love.

And in that sense, you become God. A simple equation: God = love. You are love. You=God. Quit blushing! You knew it all along, you were just so willing to play along with the prevalent mindset that sees us all as separate sinners. Who knows why? Thank God, those days are over.

So, now, it's all about love. Love for God. Love for everyone. Love for yourself. No discrimination. Only love. Here, there; now, everywhere. What else is there? Nothing. Just love.