A Willingness to Be You

"For the most part happiness consists in being willing to be what you are."

-- Erasmus. In Praise of Folly.

Authenticity is powerful stuff. Powerful both in its effects upon you, and in its effects upon the world. I'm betting the real you is nothing like the ideal you. For one thing the ideal you is a fantasy, a figment of your imagination, a mental construct based upon desire, guilt, rejection and fear. The real you is just who you are right here, right now.

Let's say you're lying in bed in the morning, not really wanting to get up. That's the real you. The ideal, fantasy you has already gone to the gym, done a half hour of cardio, worked with the free weights, showered, and is just now sitting down to a scrumptious seaweed, acai berry and protein powder smoothie. Who does she think she's fooling?!

I'm not saying that you can't get in better shape. Lord knows I can! I am saying that the way you get in better shape can either be done happily, i.e., aligned with the real you, or strugglingly, i.e., how you think you should do it based on the latest infomercial, Glamour article, or Tony Robbins DVD. For me happy, authentic exercise means walking more, swimming more, playing more tennis, and above all avoiding all health clubs and exercise machines. What "I are" is a recreational, Taoist exerciser, not a hip, adrenaline-filled, muscle bound, high tech exerciser. Works for me. When I exercise my way, I hear Frank Sinatra singing in my head, and happiness abounds!

For you, of course, it may be different. That's the beauty of authenticity -- we each create our own way. Mass marketers can't stand us. We don't follow the herd, we don't ride the latest trend straight into obsolescence, and we don't buy exercise equipment that costs thousands of dollars and then use it to hang our dirty clothes on. Authenticity is rarely touted in the mass media.

Authenticity requires honesty, guts and creativity. It requires that you say this is who and what I am, and I'm going to create joyful and exciting ways to express me. Ok, I know that sounds a little schmaltzy, so you don't have to say it out loud. But you know what I mean -- as strange as it sounds, you do need to make a conscious commitment to simply being you. And such is the price of happiness. Nothing more, nothing less. Be what you are and you will be happy.