Anonymous and Invisible

"And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged and anonymous. No one notices you. You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. You can move about, unnoticed and invisible."

-- Doris Lessing

I'm sitting in a cafe at a small table by the window. It's a quiet Sunday morning, people, mostly senior citizens, though a few parents with young kids, either quickly come and go, or linger awhile in small groups over a cup of coffee and conversation. Nobody knows me. I can sit here and type and think and sip my coffee sans interruption because I'm just some old fart in the corner.

If I was a young, beautiful woman, or a muscled, handsome man I'm sure I'd be getting interrupting stares. Still people probably wouldn't say much -- this is the 21st century, afterall, we don't talk to strangers! But, at the risk of sounding all Californicated, their energy would interrupt me and intrude on my cone of silence. Doris is right -- being an invisible, old ninja has its advantages.

We might think of it as a preparation for death. Wait -- that's not as dreary as it sounds! If we live the first half of our lives in attempts to construct a strong, independent ego, why not live the second transcending that self-constructed prison? And since it is the ego strokes of others that does the most to reinforce the walls of our limited identities, the withdrawal of that ego-enhancing energy is a gentle, though unexpected, form of deconstruction. Anonymity as a form of release.

No, at middle-age and beyond, you do not become a ghost. You can still crank up the juice when you really want to get noticed, but you find fewer and fewer reasons to bother. You do more of what you want without worrying so much about how others will view it, because, hell, they're probably not watching anyway! And when you do interact with others, you can do it with a greater sense of presence because your energy has not been frittered away in superficial interactions.

So, celebrate your invisibility! Use your cone of solitude as a ring of power. And if you're still young enough to be the object of attention, celebrate that as well. It too shall pass, so enjoy it while you can.

Each stage of life brings its own challenges, and its own rewards. Today let the rewards eclipse the challenges, and enjoy being exactly who you are, exactly where you are. It's a wonder-full life!