Stories, Choice and Power

"Power consists to a large extent in deciding what stories will be told."

-- Carolyn Heilbrun

Events happen. Then we make up stories about what happened. Alot more happens than gets remembered. And even out of what we remember, much of it is not deemed story-worthy. And in such a way so-called reality is created, history written. Herstory, too.

When Carolyn talks of power, though, she is mostly referring to the power of the press, the power that journalists and media executives have to decide which stories are newsworthy and which aren't. The Internet has helped level that playing field tremendously. Now, damn near every story, no matter how boring, mundane or self-aggrandizing gets told by somebody. Whether anyone finds them, reads them, or cares about them is, in and of itself, "another story."

What interests me, though, is not the press or bloggers or historians, but you.  What stories do you tell yourself and others about your own life? Let's give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you remember the facts. How do you structure them, combine them, spin them to weave them into a story? What do you choose to emphasize? What do you choose to downplay or leave out altogether? What titles do you give your stories, like when you say, "did I ever tell you the story about..."

In all spheres of life, power is simply the ability to choose. What do you choose to remember? What words do you choose to describe what you remember? What rhythm, tone, and theme do you bring to your stories? Who do you choose to share your stories with? Each choice is creative; each choice is powerful.

Lying in bed a little while ago I started thinking about a series of challenges that I've faced in my life. As I ran the stories through my head, I thought, I'm a survivor. These stories are about a survivor. And the term "survivor" brought a certain steely, triumphant, yet burdensome quality to the stories.

Then I thought, wait, these stories aren't about surviving, they're about seeking. I'm not the survivor, I'm the seeker. Immediately the tone of the stories changed from slogging through to being pulled forward, from overcoming to exploring. One word change and the meaning of this whole story cycle changed entirely.

The quality of your life is, to a large extent, made up of the stories you choose to tell, and how you choose to tell them. Everything that happens is merely raw material for your stories. In that way, you are the author of your own life. You have the power. You are a novelist and an historian, a myth-maker and a truth-teller, a poet and a reporter, all rolled into one. 

It's your life. Make it epic.