Perfection Ain't in the Cards

"We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and break our hearts and love the wrong people and die. The storybooks are bullshit."

-- "Ronny" played by Nicholas Cage in the movie Moonstruck

I'm tempted to say that the way your life turns out is the way it's suppose to turn out. But there is no "suppose to." There just is what is. And storybooks have nothing to do with it.

You're not here to live someone else's story. You're not here to make your life conform to some sappy, Hallmark card picture of love. You're here to live! And living entails all the so-called mistakes that make life interesting. Wrong people, broken hearts and death are all part of this incredible package deal called life. What's not to love?

The problem is we've all been sold an ideal picture of both love and life. Nothing could be more damaging to your happiness than trying to live up to an ideal. Any ideal. Life isn't about planning, striving and controlling. Life is about serendipity, passion and flow. Life is about accepting what you're given, taking what's offered, and sharing it all. Oh, yeah, and making lots and lots of those so-called mistakes.

I could say that mistakes are just learning opportunities in drag, but the truth is there are no mistakes. The only way we "make mistakes" is by labeling small portions of life as such. In reality, things just happens. In your mind, you label and judge those things. Mistakes don't happen in reality; mistakes happen between your ears.

And so, as much as I like what Ronny has to say, I'd like to offer one small change -- there are no "wrong people." Every person you love is a right person to love. There are hundreds, thousands, millions more people out there to love. Sure, some will break your heart, and some will ruin your life. But hearts are made to be broken and lives to be ruined. You're not a china doll on a shelf.

You're a living, breathing. blood-pumping sack of flesh. And more. So much more. The only way to find out what that more is, the only way to be who you really are, is to go out there and ruin your life with abandon! Time's a wasting, death's awaiting, go out there and fuck up now!