You Know the Answer

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer and wish we didn't."

-- Erica Jong

The answers lie within. It's as simple as that. No, not the answers to factual questions like the Gross Domestic Product of Uruguay, or the 13th Vice-President of the United States. For those you might need Google or Wikipedia or an economist with a good memory for political history.

The kind of answers that lie dormant within you are the answers to non-factual, personal questions. Questions like, "Should I marry Jim, or go to law school, or both?" Somewhere deep inside you, you know whether you really want to marry Jim and whether you really want to go to law school. Your sister doesn't know. Your favorite professor doesn't know. Your best friend doesn't know. Neither do Dear Abby nor Dr. Phil. You know.

Asking advice is a stalling technique. It helps you buy time to concoct a plausible reason for your answer. It can also be used to spread the blame. When you flunk out of law school and Jim divorces you, it's all your goddam sister's fault!

You don't need reasons for your decisions. You just need the guts to make them. You don't need a team of advisors. You just need to hone your intuition. One of the best pieces of unsolicited advice I ever received was, "Don't complain, don't explain." Look inside. You know it's true!

Intuition is defined in the dictionary as a "non-cognitive way of knowing." That means you know that you know, you just don't know how the hell you know! Intuition is how you mine the answers from the treasure trove of wisdom that is housed within you. Sometimes it comes like a bolt of lightning; sometimes like a fog slowly lifting. When the right answer arrives, you'll know it. Your challenge is to not turn away.

So sit down and shut up! Or go for a run. Or volunteer at a soup kitchen. Or write in your journal. Do whatever it takes to get in touch with the deep, wise you. Your answer will emerge. And when it does, the really hard part begins -- living it.