"Standing on a street corner waiting for no one is power."
-- Gregory Corso
What the hell is Gregory Corso talking about? Most people think of power as money, connections, political, or physical, muscle. And yet, Corso is convinced that the mere act of dawdling on a street corner is power. With one particular caveat -- you must be waiting for no one.
Another way to say it is that power is the ability to move through the world in your own free and uninhibited way. If you feel like standing and observing -- not waiting, not longing, not expecting, just standing -- you simply do so. You don't worry about social convention, or what people might think, or even if it's snowing or raining. You just stand there. Content. Your power, calm and complete within you.
Long ago I was taught a great mantra or affirmation by a Catholic priest. He said that whenever you get confused or scared simply repeat, "The power of God is within me, the grace of God surrounds me." At the time I had a bit of trouble with the word "power." It reminded me too much of greedy industrialists and corrupt politicians, so I replaced it with "strength."
Now I see power as an internal attribute, as the energy of the Universe that resides within each of us. I have no problem with it, and I no longer confuse it with external positioning or egoic posturing. Still, I don't always allow myself to merely stand on the street corner. I think that there is somewhere I need to go. I convince myself that I'm wasting my time. I scatter myself hither and yon rather than stand in a simple place of power.
You see, anyplace you choose to consciously and calmly stand is your place of power. Street corner or farmer's field, mall parking lot or lake shore. The mere act of standing and observing can be a gathering of energy, a momentary meditation.
So, today, take some time out of your hectic schedule, or usual routine, to stand on a street corner. Observe all that is going on around you, but refuse to be pulled, either physically or mentally, in this direction or that. Just stand there, and reclaim your power to be.
Raising Prostitutes
"Most of us were raised to become prostitutes. We have the illusion that with good behavior, good grades, lots of awards, pretty clothes, nice smiles, we can buy love. How many 'ifs' were you raised with?"
-- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
In most semi-functional families no one ever comes right out and says, "If you get straight A's, Mommy, will love you more." Or, "If you make the team, you also win Dad's love." But the unspoken message is still there. Approval is part of a complex barter system that follows the if/then formula.
True love, on the other hand, is unconditional. In fact a really good definition of love is "unconditional positive regard." It is not to be won. It is not based on performance. It is not something for which you need to prostitute yourself.
True love says much more about the giver than it does the receiver. The receiver has not earned true love, but the giver has undoubtedly worked very hard to become a clear channel for it. For you see, you don't create love, you open to it. You channel it, in a sense, from the deepest, purest, highest, most powerful part of yourself. As a lover, you are called to remove the blockages within you, so that you become truly capable of both experiencing and sharing love.
So, today's assignment is threefold. First of all, give up trying to win others' love. Accomplishment, worthiness, perfection, have nothing to do with love. Love is not a meritocracy. Second, look within yourself, find the attitudes, judgments, and fears that keep you from expressing love, and let them suckers go! And last, but surely not least, go out there and love. Love freely, wildly, uninhibitedly! Don't make people jump through hoops to receive love. Just be love.
-- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
In most semi-functional families no one ever comes right out and says, "If you get straight A's, Mommy, will love you more." Or, "If you make the team, you also win Dad's love." But the unspoken message is still there. Approval is part of a complex barter system that follows the if/then formula.
True love, on the other hand, is unconditional. In fact a really good definition of love is "unconditional positive regard." It is not to be won. It is not based on performance. It is not something for which you need to prostitute yourself.
True love says much more about the giver than it does the receiver. The receiver has not earned true love, but the giver has undoubtedly worked very hard to become a clear channel for it. For you see, you don't create love, you open to it. You channel it, in a sense, from the deepest, purest, highest, most powerful part of yourself. As a lover, you are called to remove the blockages within you, so that you become truly capable of both experiencing and sharing love.
So, today's assignment is threefold. First of all, give up trying to win others' love. Accomplishment, worthiness, perfection, have nothing to do with love. Love is not a meritocracy. Second, look within yourself, find the attitudes, judgments, and fears that keep you from expressing love, and let them suckers go! And last, but surely not least, go out there and love. Love freely, wildly, uninhibitedly! Don't make people jump through hoops to receive love. Just be love.
Problems You Can't Solve
"I had learned that all the greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally insoluble... They can never be solved but only outgrown."
-- C.G. Jung
How much time do you waste trying to solve insoluble problems? If you're anything like most of us, I'm betting quite a bit. We ruminate and stew and over-think things in the name of problem solving. We talk incessantly to friends, family, and sometimes complete strangers in a bar, about all the so-called problems we face. And yet, the problems persist.
Until we outgrow them. But how do we outgrow them? Sometimes aging alone is enough. Got too many romantic or sexual partners in your life? Don't worry, as time takes its' toll, that problem, along with your partners, will most likely disappear.
Other problems, though, are not outgrown by time, but only through your own personal growth. You outgrow your problem by evolving to a level of consciousness where the problem no longer exists. In this sense, you dissolve, rather than solve, your problems, both big and small.
Say you have a great problem with the fact that the world is unfair. This is only a problem as long as you resist and oppose the perceived unfairness. Once you quit obsessing on the unfairness of the world, the problem dissolves. No, the world hasn't changed, per se, but your relationship to it has, and that makes all the difference. Now, you can begin to change your world in small ways because you are no longer caught up in the epic battle against unfairness.
Furthermore, you know the world will never become completely fair, no matter what you or anyone else does, and so unfairness becomes a condition of life rather than a problem to be solved. Is winter a problem to be solved? No, it's simply one of the four seasons. Is sex a problem to be solved? No, it's simply a very enjoyable activity, which also happens to be the method by which we all arrived on this planet.
So, just for today, quit trying to solve the insoluble! Follow the Beatles advice and "Let it be." Engage yourself in meditation, running, lovemaking, macrame -- anything that helps you transcend the problem mode and move into a level of consciousness, even for a fleeting moment, where the world just is, you just are, and problems no longer exist.
-- C.G. Jung
How much time do you waste trying to solve insoluble problems? If you're anything like most of us, I'm betting quite a bit. We ruminate and stew and over-think things in the name of problem solving. We talk incessantly to friends, family, and sometimes complete strangers in a bar, about all the so-called problems we face. And yet, the problems persist.
Until we outgrow them. But how do we outgrow them? Sometimes aging alone is enough. Got too many romantic or sexual partners in your life? Don't worry, as time takes its' toll, that problem, along with your partners, will most likely disappear.
Other problems, though, are not outgrown by time, but only through your own personal growth. You outgrow your problem by evolving to a level of consciousness where the problem no longer exists. In this sense, you dissolve, rather than solve, your problems, both big and small.
Say you have a great problem with the fact that the world is unfair. This is only a problem as long as you resist and oppose the perceived unfairness. Once you quit obsessing on the unfairness of the world, the problem dissolves. No, the world hasn't changed, per se, but your relationship to it has, and that makes all the difference. Now, you can begin to change your world in small ways because you are no longer caught up in the epic battle against unfairness.
Furthermore, you know the world will never become completely fair, no matter what you or anyone else does, and so unfairness becomes a condition of life rather than a problem to be solved. Is winter a problem to be solved? No, it's simply one of the four seasons. Is sex a problem to be solved? No, it's simply a very enjoyable activity, which also happens to be the method by which we all arrived on this planet.
So, just for today, quit trying to solve the insoluble! Follow the Beatles advice and "Let it be." Engage yourself in meditation, running, lovemaking, macrame -- anything that helps you transcend the problem mode and move into a level of consciousness, even for a fleeting moment, where the world just is, you just are, and problems no longer exist.
Roll Out Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Efficiency
"Efficiency is intelligent laziness."
-- David Dunham
When I was nine years old I decided that I wanted to sleep in as late as possible every morning, and then arise just in time to grab a quick breakfast and dash off to school. Towards that end, I rigged up an old Easter basket with a robe around the handle and hung it over the curtain rod next to my bed. Each night when I went to bed, I'd fill the basket with my clean clothes for the next day, pull the rope until the basket reached the top of the curtain, and then tie the rope to window handle. In the morning all I had to do was untie the rope and the basket would fall right down on my bed. I could get dressed without even leaving my bed! Efficiency inspired by laziness. I felt like a genius!
Later, in my teens and early twenties, efficiency became an enemy rather than an ally. Most efficient people seemed uptight, anal, and more worried about doing things right than doing the right thing. Furthermore, I was more laid back, and preferred life's scenic route over the efficiency of the interstate.
Now, I've reached the stage of life where in order to have time to enjoy the scenic route, I must employ efficiency in the rest of my dealings. I aspire to be intelligently lazy, and put as little energy and time as possible into maintenance tasks, obligations, and other have-to's. By organizing the mechanisms of my "life situation" so that they run as smoothly as possible (even without my physical presence), I free myself to enjoy my life!
So, it's inventory time again. Time to take stock of all the inefficiencies that you've created in your life and then begin to eliminate them one by one. Is there a more efficient way to do your laundry, keep your receipts for tax purposes, or answer and organize your emails? Could you bring some added efficiency to your bill paying, meal planning, or lovemaking? (Just kidding about the lovemaking -- probably best not too apply ISO 9003 standards in the bedroom).
Getting everything organized may seem like a bit of a pain in the ass, but sometimes you have to do a little hard work now to be free to enjoy an efficient, and lazy, future.
-- David Dunham
When I was nine years old I decided that I wanted to sleep in as late as possible every morning, and then arise just in time to grab a quick breakfast and dash off to school. Towards that end, I rigged up an old Easter basket with a robe around the handle and hung it over the curtain rod next to my bed. Each night when I went to bed, I'd fill the basket with my clean clothes for the next day, pull the rope until the basket reached the top of the curtain, and then tie the rope to window handle. In the morning all I had to do was untie the rope and the basket would fall right down on my bed. I could get dressed without even leaving my bed! Efficiency inspired by laziness. I felt like a genius!
Later, in my teens and early twenties, efficiency became an enemy rather than an ally. Most efficient people seemed uptight, anal, and more worried about doing things right than doing the right thing. Furthermore, I was more laid back, and preferred life's scenic route over the efficiency of the interstate.
Now, I've reached the stage of life where in order to have time to enjoy the scenic route, I must employ efficiency in the rest of my dealings. I aspire to be intelligently lazy, and put as little energy and time as possible into maintenance tasks, obligations, and other have-to's. By organizing the mechanisms of my "life situation" so that they run as smoothly as possible (even without my physical presence), I free myself to enjoy my life!
So, it's inventory time again. Time to take stock of all the inefficiencies that you've created in your life and then begin to eliminate them one by one. Is there a more efficient way to do your laundry, keep your receipts for tax purposes, or answer and organize your emails? Could you bring some added efficiency to your bill paying, meal planning, or lovemaking? (Just kidding about the lovemaking -- probably best not too apply ISO 9003 standards in the bedroom).
Getting everything organized may seem like a bit of a pain in the ass, but sometimes you have to do a little hard work now to be free to enjoy an efficient, and lazy, future.
The Secret to Success
"The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people."
-- George Bernard Shaw
What if old G.B. Shaw is right? What if all these years we've been playing nicey nice, sucking-up, and trying to win friends and influence people, we've just been wasting our time and moving further and further away from success? Joke's on us, I guess.
One of the coolest things about true wisdom is that sometimes it goes against commonly accepted practices. My bet is that Shaw was not advising us to go out and deliberately try and piss people off, but rather to spread our message far and wide, and let the chips fall where they may. The more widely you distribute your message, the more attention you receive, the more transparent you are, the more people you are likely to offend. It's a simple numbers game.
The other side of the coin is that when you offend the greatest number of people, you also attract the most loyal fans and the strongest advocates. Opposition will be huge, but so will support.
Perhaps more importantly, you will be you. Authenticity will shine. So many times when we walk around on egg shells, talking in our best politically correct voices, and trying not to offend anyone, we are merely being dishonest. Our true thoughts and feelings, indeed our true selves, are hidden beneath the desire to be well liked and the wish to fit in. Rubbish!
You are not here to please the world, you are here to be true to your Self. If people like you, great! If they don't, so be it.
So, just for today, be you. Be you without worrying about how others are perceiving you. Keep your eyes on the horizon and off the rear view mirror. Enjoy your own unique, idiosyncratic nature, and share it openly and freely. Better to be your true offensive self than a pale, defensive clone!
-- George Bernard Shaw
What if old G.B. Shaw is right? What if all these years we've been playing nicey nice, sucking-up, and trying to win friends and influence people, we've just been wasting our time and moving further and further away from success? Joke's on us, I guess.
One of the coolest things about true wisdom is that sometimes it goes against commonly accepted practices. My bet is that Shaw was not advising us to go out and deliberately try and piss people off, but rather to spread our message far and wide, and let the chips fall where they may. The more widely you distribute your message, the more attention you receive, the more transparent you are, the more people you are likely to offend. It's a simple numbers game.
The other side of the coin is that when you offend the greatest number of people, you also attract the most loyal fans and the strongest advocates. Opposition will be huge, but so will support.
Perhaps more importantly, you will be you. Authenticity will shine. So many times when we walk around on egg shells, talking in our best politically correct voices, and trying not to offend anyone, we are merely being dishonest. Our true thoughts and feelings, indeed our true selves, are hidden beneath the desire to be well liked and the wish to fit in. Rubbish!
You are not here to please the world, you are here to be true to your Self. If people like you, great! If they don't, so be it.
So, just for today, be you. Be you without worrying about how others are perceiving you. Keep your eyes on the horizon and off the rear view mirror. Enjoy your own unique, idiosyncratic nature, and share it openly and freely. Better to be your true offensive self than a pale, defensive clone!
Cracked Bells
"Ring a bell that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-- Leonard Cohen
I lost interest in perfection along time ago. Around the time I realized that it was on par with other myths, such as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Honest Politician. Not only are none of us perfect, even trying to be perfect is a waste of our precious time and energy.
Instead of chasing the ideal, you can express the real-- the real, unique you with all your scars, warts, blemishes and imperfections. And I'll do the same. And what we'll offer each other, through cracked bells, will be the sound of lives well lived. Lives full of contradictions, mistakes, broken hearts and shattered dreams, but also lives overflowing with surprising joys, serendipitous experiences, ah ha moments, and shards of light.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is doing nothing, creating nothing, sharing nothing, because we cannot do, create, or share perfectly. The art work hanging on most refrigerator doors is not of the quality of Monet or Van Gogh, but it is proudly and lovingly displayed nonetheless. And, quite frankly, alot of it does look like Picasso!
So, just for today, offer whatever you can, to whomever you can. The fact that neither the giver nor the receiver is perfect is irrelevant. The light will still get in.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in."
-- Leonard Cohen
I lost interest in perfection along time ago. Around the time I realized that it was on par with other myths, such as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Honest Politician. Not only are none of us perfect, even trying to be perfect is a waste of our precious time and energy.
Instead of chasing the ideal, you can express the real-- the real, unique you with all your scars, warts, blemishes and imperfections. And I'll do the same. And what we'll offer each other, through cracked bells, will be the sound of lives well lived. Lives full of contradictions, mistakes, broken hearts and shattered dreams, but also lives overflowing with surprising joys, serendipitous experiences, ah ha moments, and shards of light.
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is doing nothing, creating nothing, sharing nothing, because we cannot do, create, or share perfectly. The art work hanging on most refrigerator doors is not of the quality of Monet or Van Gogh, but it is proudly and lovingly displayed nonetheless. And, quite frankly, alot of it does look like Picasso!
So, just for today, offer whatever you can, to whomever you can. The fact that neither the giver nor the receiver is perfect is irrelevant. The light will still get in.
Ground Zero
"Let us love winter, for it is the spring of genius."
-- Pietro Aretino
As I write this the temperature is zero. It's winter in Chicago, and it's cold enough to freeze the balls off the proverbial brass monkey. Today we've got a modicum of sun, at least, so it's not exactly cold, gray, depressing suicide weather, you know, Seattle meets Barrow, Alaska.
It's easy to wish away the winter and dream of enjoying exotic umbrella drinks on tropical isles. But in so doing we miss winter's greatest gift -- the chance to hibernate, ruminate and create. In winter the energy of the world slows a bit, attractions and distractions are both fewer. We are given the opportunity to find depth in ourselves rather than breadth in the world. And from this fermentation, this slow percolation, genius is born.
Is it mere coincidence that most of the great philosophers, teachers and spiritual leaders in history came not from the tropics but from temperate climes? I think not. It's easy to enjoy the now, but hard to think deep thoughts, with sand between your toes and a pina colada in your hand. As corny as it sounds, winter builds character.
So use winter. Use the cold, the snow, the lack of motivation and mobility to go within, to explore ideas that have been hanging around on the street corners of your consciousness, to create art from your depths and music from your heart.
Spring will soon be here, and we will rejoice! Until then, there is no need to soldier grimly on, we can, instead, explore the beautiful winter landscape of the soul. Still, if there's anyone in Florida who'd like to trade their condo on the Gulf for an apartment in Chicago for a week, just let me know!
-- Pietro Aretino
As I write this the temperature is zero. It's winter in Chicago, and it's cold enough to freeze the balls off the proverbial brass monkey. Today we've got a modicum of sun, at least, so it's not exactly cold, gray, depressing suicide weather, you know, Seattle meets Barrow, Alaska.
It's easy to wish away the winter and dream of enjoying exotic umbrella drinks on tropical isles. But in so doing we miss winter's greatest gift -- the chance to hibernate, ruminate and create. In winter the energy of the world slows a bit, attractions and distractions are both fewer. We are given the opportunity to find depth in ourselves rather than breadth in the world. And from this fermentation, this slow percolation, genius is born.
Is it mere coincidence that most of the great philosophers, teachers and spiritual leaders in history came not from the tropics but from temperate climes? I think not. It's easy to enjoy the now, but hard to think deep thoughts, with sand between your toes and a pina colada in your hand. As corny as it sounds, winter builds character.
So use winter. Use the cold, the snow, the lack of motivation and mobility to go within, to explore ideas that have been hanging around on the street corners of your consciousness, to create art from your depths and music from your heart.
Spring will soon be here, and we will rejoice! Until then, there is no need to soldier grimly on, we can, instead, explore the beautiful winter landscape of the soul. Still, if there's anyone in Florida who'd like to trade their condo on the Gulf for an apartment in Chicago for a week, just let me know!
Rebaptise
"The great epochs of our life are the occasions when we gain the courage to rebaptise our evil qualities as our best qualities."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Rebaptising evil to good may sound strange at first, but it seems to be just Nietzsche's grandiose way of speaking about redemption, of speaking about transformation. Dictionary.com tells us that "baptise" means "to cleanse spiritually." And I think that's exactly what our old buddy Friedrich is calling for here.
See, the qualities and characteristics that are sometimes dubbed "evil" are merely our strengths turned inside out. To cleanse those same strengths and use them in a positive way redeems both the qualities and the person who uses them.
Author Ann McGee-Cooper, expresses much the same sentiment when she asks us to remember what it was we got in trouble for when we were kids. Those very things you got in trouble for as a kid, are you strengths as an adult, she adds.
Let me give you an example. As a kid in elementary school my report cards were filled with teachers comments like "David is a good student but he talks too much during class." "David sometimes uses humor inappropriately." Or my favorite "Disturbs, his neighbors." Now, as somewhat of an adult, I make a good portion of my living giving presentations, many of which are peppered with what I'm sure my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Welborn, would consider inappropriate humor.
So, today your assignment (should you decide to accept it) is to start your own great epoch by looking at your so-called "evil qualities" and rebaptizing them as your best. Are you lazy? Maybe you could teach relaxation workshops. Are you a hellion between the sheets? Maybe you should become a sex surrogate. Talk too much? Become a professional speaker! You get the picture -- find a positive use for those very qualities and characteristics for which you have received negative feedback. Turn your strengths right side out. And in so doing, transform both yourself and your life.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
Rebaptising evil to good may sound strange at first, but it seems to be just Nietzsche's grandiose way of speaking about redemption, of speaking about transformation. Dictionary.com tells us that "baptise" means "to cleanse spiritually." And I think that's exactly what our old buddy Friedrich is calling for here.
See, the qualities and characteristics that are sometimes dubbed "evil" are merely our strengths turned inside out. To cleanse those same strengths and use them in a positive way redeems both the qualities and the person who uses them.
Author Ann McGee-Cooper, expresses much the same sentiment when she asks us to remember what it was we got in trouble for when we were kids. Those very things you got in trouble for as a kid, are you strengths as an adult, she adds.
Let me give you an example. As a kid in elementary school my report cards were filled with teachers comments like "David is a good student but he talks too much during class." "David sometimes uses humor inappropriately." Or my favorite "Disturbs, his neighbors." Now, as somewhat of an adult, I make a good portion of my living giving presentations, many of which are peppered with what I'm sure my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Welborn, would consider inappropriate humor.
So, today your assignment (should you decide to accept it) is to start your own great epoch by looking at your so-called "evil qualities" and rebaptizing them as your best. Are you lazy? Maybe you could teach relaxation workshops. Are you a hellion between the sheets? Maybe you should become a sex surrogate. Talk too much? Become a professional speaker! You get the picture -- find a positive use for those very qualities and characteristics for which you have received negative feedback. Turn your strengths right side out. And in so doing, transform both yourself and your life.
The Fine Art of Ignoring
"Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace."
-- Robert J. Sawyer
What can you afford to ignore? Damn near everything! You can ignore Brittney's latest shenanigans, you can ignore the weather in Barrow, Alaska (unless you live there), you can ignore televangelists, advertisements, and the latest so-called reality TV show. You can ignore 99% of what's going on in the world and still do just fine. Actually, finer than you're doing now.
First of all, by practicing the fine art of ignoring, you are not stimulating your emotions by focusing on things over which you have no control or influence. You're no longer getting upset by the sluts on the Maury Povich Show, or worrying about the size of Oprah's ass. If you really enjoy getting upset, I'm sure there's plenty in your own life that you can fuss and fume about, but I wouldn't recommend it. What you think about expands, and who in their right mind wants to make their "problems" more expansive?
Secondly, when you withdraw your attention from what doesn't matter, you can refocus it on what does. Your effectiveness in your own life increases when you are ignoring things that are not an integral part of it. You can solve real problems more quickly, prevent new ones from arising, and, most importantly, pour your energy into the people you love and the activities you enjoy.
Inner peace is based on finding the fine balance between controlling, influencing and letting go. The only thing you can really control in life is you -- your actions, your thoughts, your emotions. You can influence some of the people and events in your life, but only some of them. You can let go of everything else. Sure, it's a balance you may always be tweaking, but the whole process begins with learning to ignore the irrelevant.
So, beginning today, exercise your ignoring muscle. Switch off the TV, opt out of gossip, read less of the daily paper, don't get sucked into debates or discussions on topics that are opinion rather than fact-based. Soon you may find a whole new meaning to the phrase "ignorance is bliss!"
-- Robert J. Sawyer
What can you afford to ignore? Damn near everything! You can ignore Brittney's latest shenanigans, you can ignore the weather in Barrow, Alaska (unless you live there), you can ignore televangelists, advertisements, and the latest so-called reality TV show. You can ignore 99% of what's going on in the world and still do just fine. Actually, finer than you're doing now.
First of all, by practicing the fine art of ignoring, you are not stimulating your emotions by focusing on things over which you have no control or influence. You're no longer getting upset by the sluts on the Maury Povich Show, or worrying about the size of Oprah's ass. If you really enjoy getting upset, I'm sure there's plenty in your own life that you can fuss and fume about, but I wouldn't recommend it. What you think about expands, and who in their right mind wants to make their "problems" more expansive?
Secondly, when you withdraw your attention from what doesn't matter, you can refocus it on what does. Your effectiveness in your own life increases when you are ignoring things that are not an integral part of it. You can solve real problems more quickly, prevent new ones from arising, and, most importantly, pour your energy into the people you love and the activities you enjoy.
Inner peace is based on finding the fine balance between controlling, influencing and letting go. The only thing you can really control in life is you -- your actions, your thoughts, your emotions. You can influence some of the people and events in your life, but only some of them. You can let go of everything else. Sure, it's a balance you may always be tweaking, but the whole process begins with learning to ignore the irrelevant.
So, beginning today, exercise your ignoring muscle. Switch off the TV, opt out of gossip, read less of the daily paper, don't get sucked into debates or discussions on topics that are opinion rather than fact-based. Soon you may find a whole new meaning to the phrase "ignorance is bliss!"
Recipes, Cooks and Other Things
"If the recipe sucks, it doesn't matter how good a cook you are."
-- Tim Ferriss. The 4-Hour Workweek, p. 30
And, man, there are alot of sucky recipes out there! Any recipe whose first ingredient is "original sin" is bound to suck. It doesn't matter how good a priest, pastor, or padre you are, even with all your good intentions, you're whipping up one unpalatable mess. Yes, folks, you heard it right here first -- Christianity sucks! As do all the other religions. Why? Because they're all based on recipes, i.e., belief systems and theologies, that suck.
I know that sounds a tad bit harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts. The teachings of Christ don't suck. Nor do the teachings of Buddha and other great, enlightened teachers. But, unfortunately, the religions of today have strayed far from the original teachings of the men who inspired them. All religions suck because they are based upon separation rather then Unity. They are based upon the good versus the bad, the saved versus the damned, God's chosen people versus us garden variety sinners. Sure they throw in a smidgen of love here, and a pinch of compassion there, but the soup stock itself is heavy on judgment, control and delusion.
But sucky recipes aren't limited to religion. The recipe for health care in this country sucks, with its two main ingredients being insurance companies and HMO's. The 40 hour work week sucks, as does the whole money game. You can't build a strong economy by giving each taxpayer an $800 rebate, and then encouraging them to go out and buy more Useless Crap From China (UCFC)! The war in Iraq really sucks! How anyone thinks they can make anything good with a recipe of lies, hatred, and killing is beyond me. Though, in this case, the cook is a word class moron, too!
Enough already. You get my point -- sucky recipes abound! What can you do? You can choose not to invest your time and energy in them. Opt out. Embrace spirituality, not religion. Use prevention rather than cure, whenever possible, to stay healthy. Find new ways of working that are much more balanced than the dominant corporate model. Create a life of simplicity and quality rather than one of consumption and clutter.
Just for today don't try and make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, or a gourmet feast out of "shit on a shingle." See the truth, tell the truth. Then invent a new truth and live it.
-- Tim Ferriss. The 4-Hour Workweek, p. 30
And, man, there are alot of sucky recipes out there! Any recipe whose first ingredient is "original sin" is bound to suck. It doesn't matter how good a priest, pastor, or padre you are, even with all your good intentions, you're whipping up one unpalatable mess. Yes, folks, you heard it right here first -- Christianity sucks! As do all the other religions. Why? Because they're all based on recipes, i.e., belief systems and theologies, that suck.
I know that sounds a tad bit harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts. The teachings of Christ don't suck. Nor do the teachings of Buddha and other great, enlightened teachers. But, unfortunately, the religions of today have strayed far from the original teachings of the men who inspired them. All religions suck because they are based upon separation rather then Unity. They are based upon the good versus the bad, the saved versus the damned, God's chosen people versus us garden variety sinners. Sure they throw in a smidgen of love here, and a pinch of compassion there, but the soup stock itself is heavy on judgment, control and delusion.
But sucky recipes aren't limited to religion. The recipe for health care in this country sucks, with its two main ingredients being insurance companies and HMO's. The 40 hour work week sucks, as does the whole money game. You can't build a strong economy by giving each taxpayer an $800 rebate, and then encouraging them to go out and buy more Useless Crap From China (UCFC)! The war in Iraq really sucks! How anyone thinks they can make anything good with a recipe of lies, hatred, and killing is beyond me. Though, in this case, the cook is a word class moron, too!
Enough already. You get my point -- sucky recipes abound! What can you do? You can choose not to invest your time and energy in them. Opt out. Embrace spirituality, not religion. Use prevention rather than cure, whenever possible, to stay healthy. Find new ways of working that are much more balanced than the dominant corporate model. Create a life of simplicity and quality rather than one of consumption and clutter.
Just for today don't try and make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, or a gourmet feast out of "shit on a shingle." See the truth, tell the truth. Then invent a new truth and live it.
A Complicated Life
"Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it."
-- Elaine St. James
I know, I know, the complications aren't your fault! People just demand so much of you. There's work and school and kids and relationships, and shopping and golf, and hell, there's only so much time.
True, there are only 24 hours in a day, no matter how you slice it. Everybody gets the same 1440 minutes each day, and yet some people chase their tales like toy poodles on crack, while others glide through life like a pod of dolphins at play. Sure, you can try stress management, time management, and, most of all, self-management, but the real answer can be summed up in one word -- simplify.
Do you really need to do all the stuff you do? Do you really enjoy all the relationships in which you're involved? Do you really use all the junk you own? No, I didn't think so. And yet you keep doing them, and keeping them, and they keep complicating your life.
If you truly want to change your life you must be ruthless! Clutter, complications, crazy commitments and all that other crap must go! You may think it's all so important now, but once you jettison it, you won't miss it for a heartbeat. In fact, you'll relish the new found freedom that comes with simplicity, as well the space you have to make the changes you really want to make.
Now's the time. Start today. Uncomplicate your life by sending an email to withdraw from a boring committee, or clean out your closets, or balance your checkbook and put your bills on automatic payment, or put that obnoxious, incontinent schnauzer to sleep (sorry, just kidding). There are so many ways you can remove complications, that to piss and moan about your life being too complicated is just downright selfish!
Creation needs space. The only way to create the space is by destruction. Destroy your old negative patterns, destroy the complications that eat up all your energy and keep you from changing and creating. You can do it! Do it now.
-- Elaine St. James
I know, I know, the complications aren't your fault! People just demand so much of you. There's work and school and kids and relationships, and shopping and golf, and hell, there's only so much time.
True, there are only 24 hours in a day, no matter how you slice it. Everybody gets the same 1440 minutes each day, and yet some people chase their tales like toy poodles on crack, while others glide through life like a pod of dolphins at play. Sure, you can try stress management, time management, and, most of all, self-management, but the real answer can be summed up in one word -- simplify.
Do you really need to do all the stuff you do? Do you really enjoy all the relationships in which you're involved? Do you really use all the junk you own? No, I didn't think so. And yet you keep doing them, and keeping them, and they keep complicating your life.
If you truly want to change your life you must be ruthless! Clutter, complications, crazy commitments and all that other crap must go! You may think it's all so important now, but once you jettison it, you won't miss it for a heartbeat. In fact, you'll relish the new found freedom that comes with simplicity, as well the space you have to make the changes you really want to make.
Now's the time. Start today. Uncomplicate your life by sending an email to withdraw from a boring committee, or clean out your closets, or balance your checkbook and put your bills on automatic payment, or put that obnoxious, incontinent schnauzer to sleep (sorry, just kidding). There are so many ways you can remove complications, that to piss and moan about your life being too complicated is just downright selfish!
Creation needs space. The only way to create the space is by destruction. Destroy your old negative patterns, destroy the complications that eat up all your energy and keep you from changing and creating. You can do it! Do it now.
Nothing
"There is nothing to prove, nothing to win, nothing to get."
-- Cheri Huber
You are alive. You do not have to do anything, attain anything, or obtain anything to justify being alive, to justify being you. No awards, honors, achievements, or possessions can make you more worthy of being alive, or change your unique essence one iota.
Relax. Breathe in, breathe out. Aaahhhh.... You know, you really can trust yourself and follow your crazy, cracked heart. You are not a show dog on parade, a nervous fifth grader in the school spelling bee, or a ninja locked in mortal combat. There are no judges, no competitors, no foes. This is your life, and you are not playing to the crowds or the critics, not trying to get Simon to like you, not performing under the watchful glare of Alex Trebeck as you face Final Jeopardy.
You are living each day in your own way, in your own rhythm. Your long and winding road requires no justification. It merely unfolds to be enjoyed.
So, just for today, stop trying. Whatever you do, let it spring from your Being, instead of being coerced out of you by external rewards or demands. There is no blue ribbon, no Lombardi Trophy, no Nobel Prize for you to win today. There is only the pure bliss of being alive in your own unique way. Who could ask for anything more?
-- Cheri Huber
You are alive. You do not have to do anything, attain anything, or obtain anything to justify being alive, to justify being you. No awards, honors, achievements, or possessions can make you more worthy of being alive, or change your unique essence one iota.
Relax. Breathe in, breathe out. Aaahhhh.... You know, you really can trust yourself and follow your crazy, cracked heart. You are not a show dog on parade, a nervous fifth grader in the school spelling bee, or a ninja locked in mortal combat. There are no judges, no competitors, no foes. This is your life, and you are not playing to the crowds or the critics, not trying to get Simon to like you, not performing under the watchful glare of Alex Trebeck as you face Final Jeopardy.
You are living each day in your own way, in your own rhythm. Your long and winding road requires no justification. It merely unfolds to be enjoyed.
So, just for today, stop trying. Whatever you do, let it spring from your Being, instead of being coerced out of you by external rewards or demands. There is no blue ribbon, no Lombardi Trophy, no Nobel Prize for you to win today. There is only the pure bliss of being alive in your own unique way. Who could ask for anything more?
Yum... Sandwiches
"If people have to choose between freedom and sandwiches, they will take sandwiches."
-- Lord John Boyd Orr
Reason number 317 not to be part of the crowd -- "they" make bad choices. And so do we. How many times do we give precious hours and minutes of our lives to some inane sitcom, or worse, yet so-called "Reality TV?" How often do we trade our days for meager pay and boring work? How many sandwiches do we have to eat before we realize that freedom is indeed much tastier?
Lord Orr may be a cynic, but, like most cynics, he at least points at the truth. We are bought off by everyone from credit card companies to mega-churches. We trade personal freedom for promises of big screen TV's and heaven. I'm sure it won't be long before the Church of Visa promises flat screen, HDTVs in heaven! With 24% interest and monthly payments for life, of course.
You don't need that crap! What you do need is your individual soul, that little flame of freedom that allows you to choose bliss over bologna, the present over promises, and self-respect over sandwiches.
So, just for today, look at your life with clear, unsentimental eyes and see exactly where you are selling out. What bad deals do you continue to make? Shine the light of consciousness on those deals where you trade slivers of yourself for useless bling, bling, where your soul is bought and sold for sandwiches. And then opt out. Get out of the drive though line at Mickey D's and head home. Home to your heart, home to your self, home to the endless fields of freedom that glisten in the morning dew for as far as your eyes can see.
-- Lord John Boyd Orr
Reason number 317 not to be part of the crowd -- "they" make bad choices. And so do we. How many times do we give precious hours and minutes of our lives to some inane sitcom, or worse, yet so-called "Reality TV?" How often do we trade our days for meager pay and boring work? How many sandwiches do we have to eat before we realize that freedom is indeed much tastier?
Lord Orr may be a cynic, but, like most cynics, he at least points at the truth. We are bought off by everyone from credit card companies to mega-churches. We trade personal freedom for promises of big screen TV's and heaven. I'm sure it won't be long before the Church of Visa promises flat screen, HDTVs in heaven! With 24% interest and monthly payments for life, of course.
You don't need that crap! What you do need is your individual soul, that little flame of freedom that allows you to choose bliss over bologna, the present over promises, and self-respect over sandwiches.
So, just for today, look at your life with clear, unsentimental eyes and see exactly where you are selling out. What bad deals do you continue to make? Shine the light of consciousness on those deals where you trade slivers of yourself for useless bling, bling, where your soul is bought and sold for sandwiches. And then opt out. Get out of the drive though line at Mickey D's and head home. Home to your heart, home to your self, home to the endless fields of freedom that glisten in the morning dew for as far as your eyes can see.
Why Be Normal?
"Life is too short to be normal."
-- Dave Ramsey
Do you know Dave Ramsey? He's the guy who started Financial Peace University and whose mission is to help people get out of debt, save money, and enjoy life. In his context "normal" is the debt-ridden, economically insecure life of most consumers. And, I agree with him -- who wants to be normal in that way?
But let's take normal a step or two further. In almost all contexts, not just financial, normal is simply a synonym for mediocre. It's normal to go through life experiencing anger, jealousy, fear and boredom. Most people do it, so it must be normal, it must be OK. It's normal to dislike your job, lose the zest and passion in your relationships, be overweight, take prescription drugs out the yin yang, watch hours and hours of TV daily, and retire at 65.
But who really cares what's normal? Normal is the cookie cutter mentality of one size fits all. It's the path of least resistance, but also the path of least fulfillment. To design and live a life beyond the norm takes awareness, creativity, intuition, and courage. It takes getting to know yourself better than you know the latest USA Today poll. It takes realizing every single day that life is way too short to waste in the center of the herd.
So today you really don't have to do anything, just think. Think about all the ways you've sacrificed your individuality on the alter of normalcy. Even make a list if it helps you gain some clarity. And just about the time you start getting super depressed because you've stifled yourself for so long in the pursuit of fitting in, shift gears and think about all the fun, new ways that you can choose to be you. From something as small as a new hairstyle to as large as quitting your job and pursuing a new career, from choosing to wear that Homer Simpson bowling shirt that's been hanging in the back your closet to church to coming out of the closet altogether, from taking a long weekend to moving half way around the world -- brainstorm your steps out of Normal Land.
And then tomorrow simply take one step, no matter how tentative, no matter how small, into your new life.
-- Dave Ramsey
Do you know Dave Ramsey? He's the guy who started Financial Peace University and whose mission is to help people get out of debt, save money, and enjoy life. In his context "normal" is the debt-ridden, economically insecure life of most consumers. And, I agree with him -- who wants to be normal in that way?
But let's take normal a step or two further. In almost all contexts, not just financial, normal is simply a synonym for mediocre. It's normal to go through life experiencing anger, jealousy, fear and boredom. Most people do it, so it must be normal, it must be OK. It's normal to dislike your job, lose the zest and passion in your relationships, be overweight, take prescription drugs out the yin yang, watch hours and hours of TV daily, and retire at 65.
But who really cares what's normal? Normal is the cookie cutter mentality of one size fits all. It's the path of least resistance, but also the path of least fulfillment. To design and live a life beyond the norm takes awareness, creativity, intuition, and courage. It takes getting to know yourself better than you know the latest USA Today poll. It takes realizing every single day that life is way too short to waste in the center of the herd.
So today you really don't have to do anything, just think. Think about all the ways you've sacrificed your individuality on the alter of normalcy. Even make a list if it helps you gain some clarity. And just about the time you start getting super depressed because you've stifled yourself for so long in the pursuit of fitting in, shift gears and think about all the fun, new ways that you can choose to be you. From something as small as a new hairstyle to as large as quitting your job and pursuing a new career, from choosing to wear that Homer Simpson bowling shirt that's been hanging in the back your closet to church to coming out of the closet altogether, from taking a long weekend to moving half way around the world -- brainstorm your steps out of Normal Land.
And then tomorrow simply take one step, no matter how tentative, no matter how small, into your new life.
Enjoy Your Sins!
"Being a Baptist won't keep you from sinning, but it'll sure as hell keep you from enjoying it."
-- Jimmy Dean
Enjoy your sins! Sounds like some sort of cool pagan bumper sticker. The thing is, sin is in the eye of the beholder. Most people who are doing the act that you, or the Baptists, consider a sin, don't themselves consider the act a sin. Is making sausage a sin? Probably not to Jimmy Dean, but it may be to hardline Vegans. (Is there such thing as a Vegan Baptist?)
So what exactly is a sin? One person's sin may well be another's way of worship. Remember the old joke: "Why don't Baptists approve of premarital sex? They're afraid it will lead to dancing." Ah, but the Whirling Dervishes of the Sufi tradition dance their prayers, spin their way to spiritual ecstasy. It seems obvious that each of us must concoct our own definition of sin.
But what shall we use as guidelines? Two things -- common sense and intuition. Common sense tells us that any act that we perform that deliberately hurts another and/or deprives them of their basic human freedom could be considered a sin. I know this is a really vague category, so let's think of some examples. Murder, rape, kidnapping, physically assaulting someone -- the big heinous crimes are all sins. You get the picture.
Intuition is even trickier because it's so individualized. Perhaps the best I can do is say that in your heart of hearts you truly know whether any act that you undertake is a sin or not. Some would call this "let your conscience be your guide." And while I agree, you've got to make sure that the voice you hear is really your conscience speaking and not the ghostly vestiges of guilt implanted in your brain years ago by parents, teachers, religions, etc.
Want to move beyond Sin 101 to PhD level studies? Then use the strictest of guidelines -- anytime you see anyone else as "other," you have sinned. In other words, the primordial sin is separation. If you fracture, with either your mind or actions, the Unity of the Divine, you have sinned. I know, I know heavy stuff! If we use that as our standard most of us are just walking around sinning damn near non-stop!
But let's head back to breakfast at Jimmy Dean's. As we sit around the table enjoying our sunny side up eggs, waffles and bacon, the question arises, "Is it really a sin if nobody else is hurt?" In other words, is there such a thing as victimless sin? If two unmarried, but mutually consenting, adults decide to follow the lead of the Starland Vocal Band and partake in a little "afternoon delight," is it a sin?
Those are the types of questions and decisions that we're faced with everyday. I'll leave you to decide whether a sextracurricular romp at the No Tell Motel is a sin or not in your mind. All I ask is two small things. If you decide it is a sin, remember your definition applies only to you. As I've said many times before, you only legislate for yourself. Secondly, whether you decide such action is a sin or not, if you go there, enjoy it! The time to repent is later, not in the midst of sinning. Who knows? If you enjoy your sins enough, you may decide they're not really sins after all!
-- Jimmy Dean
Enjoy your sins! Sounds like some sort of cool pagan bumper sticker. The thing is, sin is in the eye of the beholder. Most people who are doing the act that you, or the Baptists, consider a sin, don't themselves consider the act a sin. Is making sausage a sin? Probably not to Jimmy Dean, but it may be to hardline Vegans. (Is there such thing as a Vegan Baptist?)
So what exactly is a sin? One person's sin may well be another's way of worship. Remember the old joke: "Why don't Baptists approve of premarital sex? They're afraid it will lead to dancing." Ah, but the Whirling Dervishes of the Sufi tradition dance their prayers, spin their way to spiritual ecstasy. It seems obvious that each of us must concoct our own definition of sin.
But what shall we use as guidelines? Two things -- common sense and intuition. Common sense tells us that any act that we perform that deliberately hurts another and/or deprives them of their basic human freedom could be considered a sin. I know this is a really vague category, so let's think of some examples. Murder, rape, kidnapping, physically assaulting someone -- the big heinous crimes are all sins. You get the picture.
Intuition is even trickier because it's so individualized. Perhaps the best I can do is say that in your heart of hearts you truly know whether any act that you undertake is a sin or not. Some would call this "let your conscience be your guide." And while I agree, you've got to make sure that the voice you hear is really your conscience speaking and not the ghostly vestiges of guilt implanted in your brain years ago by parents, teachers, religions, etc.
Want to move beyond Sin 101 to PhD level studies? Then use the strictest of guidelines -- anytime you see anyone else as "other," you have sinned. In other words, the primordial sin is separation. If you fracture, with either your mind or actions, the Unity of the Divine, you have sinned. I know, I know heavy stuff! If we use that as our standard most of us are just walking around sinning damn near non-stop!
But let's head back to breakfast at Jimmy Dean's. As we sit around the table enjoying our sunny side up eggs, waffles and bacon, the question arises, "Is it really a sin if nobody else is hurt?" In other words, is there such a thing as victimless sin? If two unmarried, but mutually consenting, adults decide to follow the lead of the Starland Vocal Band and partake in a little "afternoon delight," is it a sin?
Those are the types of questions and decisions that we're faced with everyday. I'll leave you to decide whether a sextracurricular romp at the No Tell Motel is a sin or not in your mind. All I ask is two small things. If you decide it is a sin, remember your definition applies only to you. As I've said many times before, you only legislate for yourself. Secondly, whether you decide such action is a sin or not, if you go there, enjoy it! The time to repent is later, not in the midst of sinning. Who knows? If you enjoy your sins enough, you may decide they're not really sins after all!
"I am..."
"You will experience whatever you think after the words 'I am...' "
-- Chalanda Sai Ma
The thought rushes through your mind, "I am so tired of this." And suddenly you feel even more exhausted by it all. Or the thought "I am so grateful" pops upon the cranial scene, and as a slight smile graces your lips, your spirits lift a bit. The situation is the same. Nothing has changed. You're still picking up the kids dirty socks, or attending another death-by-Powerpoint presentation, or crawling along at five miles per hour on a cold and snowy evening commute.
Your "I am..." creates the emotional tone of your minutes, hours, days, and finally, your life. But the best part of this news is that you can take control of your "I am... ." That's what affirmations are all about -- they are meant to be more self-direction than self-deception. You say to yourself, "I am happy, healthy and wealthy" when, in fact, you are feeling pissed off, puny and poor. If you just repeat the affirmation in a rote manner, it won't do you much good. You will probably even create a mental backlash, and a little voice in your head will say something like "Bullshit!"
But what if you do a quick inventory and actually look for parts of your life in which you experience joy, well being, and abundance? My bet is that you'll find them. And in so doing you'll refocus your attention, and your "I am.." will morph towards the positive.
We've all had the experience where we hit our thumb with a hammer, actually or figuratively, and we say under our breath (or right out loud) "I'm so #@%&+* stupid!" Don't end your "I am..." there, though. Add something like "But I'm a quick learner. I won't do that again!" Always replace, or follow, a negative with a positive. End each internal monologue with an upbeat I" am.."
And so, just for today monitor your self-talk. Root out every negative "I am..." and substitute a positive. And if you're feeling bad at anytime throughout the day look at what you're telling yourself. You will undoubtedly find a rotten "I am..." that needs to be purged from your thought train. When bored -- sitting at the dentist's office, stuck in traffic, riding the train-- see if you can create five positive "I am..." statements right there on the spot. Your "I am's" are your creation. You can turn them into supporters, advocates and cheerleaders. Don't let them continue to be critics, nay sayers and evil step-mothers. I am positive you can do it!
-- Chalanda Sai Ma
The thought rushes through your mind, "I am so tired of this." And suddenly you feel even more exhausted by it all. Or the thought "I am so grateful" pops upon the cranial scene, and as a slight smile graces your lips, your spirits lift a bit. The situation is the same. Nothing has changed. You're still picking up the kids dirty socks, or attending another death-by-Powerpoint presentation, or crawling along at five miles per hour on a cold and snowy evening commute.
Your "I am..." creates the emotional tone of your minutes, hours, days, and finally, your life. But the best part of this news is that you can take control of your "I am... ." That's what affirmations are all about -- they are meant to be more self-direction than self-deception. You say to yourself, "I am happy, healthy and wealthy" when, in fact, you are feeling pissed off, puny and poor. If you just repeat the affirmation in a rote manner, it won't do you much good. You will probably even create a mental backlash, and a little voice in your head will say something like "Bullshit!"
But what if you do a quick inventory and actually look for parts of your life in which you experience joy, well being, and abundance? My bet is that you'll find them. And in so doing you'll refocus your attention, and your "I am.." will morph towards the positive.
We've all had the experience where we hit our thumb with a hammer, actually or figuratively, and we say under our breath (or right out loud) "I'm so #@%&+* stupid!" Don't end your "I am..." there, though. Add something like "But I'm a quick learner. I won't do that again!" Always replace, or follow, a negative with a positive. End each internal monologue with an upbeat I" am.."
And so, just for today monitor your self-talk. Root out every negative "I am..." and substitute a positive. And if you're feeling bad at anytime throughout the day look at what you're telling yourself. You will undoubtedly find a rotten "I am..." that needs to be purged from your thought train. When bored -- sitting at the dentist's office, stuck in traffic, riding the train-- see if you can create five positive "I am..." statements right there on the spot. Your "I am's" are your creation. You can turn them into supporters, advocates and cheerleaders. Don't let them continue to be critics, nay sayers and evil step-mothers. I am positive you can do it!
A Bad Sign
"If absolutely no one is upset or displeased with your choices in life, I would consider that a bad sign."
-- John Kehoe. The Practice of Happiness, p.19.
Playing to the crowd doesn't work. Sure, you can play the game of life so as not to upset anyone, but oh what a boring life it would be! You'd be trading acceptance by the masses for your one and only soul -- not a very savvy bargain! And to gain that acceptance you'd undoubtedly have to lie, either to others, or to yourself.
I'm not saying that you should never take into account others feelings when making a decision. I am saying, especially if the decision is an important one, that others feelings should not be the primary basis on which you choose.
Many times in life, no matter what you do, even if you do nothing, somebody will find fault with you. Let them. And then, unless you really, truly respect them on this issue, or love them tremendously, ignore them. If you've been paying attention to your own life, if you know yourself inside and out, you are your own expert on what's best for you. You may not be 100% sure, but that's life -- no money back guarantees.
So, today when a decision arises, look to yourself first, and then let the chips fall where they may. Don't be cavalier about it, just be true to you. As you move through your life today, let the refrain from that old Ricky Nelson tune, Garden Party, echo in your head. "But it's alright now. I've learned my lesson well. See you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."
-- John Kehoe. The Practice of Happiness, p.19.
Playing to the crowd doesn't work. Sure, you can play the game of life so as not to upset anyone, but oh what a boring life it would be! You'd be trading acceptance by the masses for your one and only soul -- not a very savvy bargain! And to gain that acceptance you'd undoubtedly have to lie, either to others, or to yourself.
I'm not saying that you should never take into account others feelings when making a decision. I am saying, especially if the decision is an important one, that others feelings should not be the primary basis on which you choose.
Many times in life, no matter what you do, even if you do nothing, somebody will find fault with you. Let them. And then, unless you really, truly respect them on this issue, or love them tremendously, ignore them. If you've been paying attention to your own life, if you know yourself inside and out, you are your own expert on what's best for you. You may not be 100% sure, but that's life -- no money back guarantees.
So, today when a decision arises, look to yourself first, and then let the chips fall where they may. Don't be cavalier about it, just be true to you. As you move through your life today, let the refrain from that old Ricky Nelson tune, Garden Party, echo in your head. "But it's alright now. I've learned my lesson well. See you can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself."
Your Way
"In the end there is no right way of living. There is only your way."
-- Ernie J. Zelinski
Every religious leader, pop philosopher, self-help guru, and best selling pundit wants to tell you how to live. Add in politicians, police, friends, and spouses, and you got a whole helluva lot of people thinking they know what is best for little ole you. Listen, not with a grain, but with a whole friggin ton, of salt! Everyone's got their own perspectives, prejudices, and points of view, and most of them having nothing to do with you.
Your job is to discover your way. It may share certain elements with those closest to you, or it may look entirely different. No matter, as long as it's your own individualized, idiosyncratic, heart-felt way.
Say you want to take your "retirement" from ages 35 to 45, and then go back to work later in life. Fine. God did not decree that you have to wait to retire until you're too damn old to really do anything exciting. You can work weekends and take Tuesday and Wednesday off. You can get up at 4 AM and go to bed at 9 PM. You can live six months of each year in a different locale. You can start a commune, become a nun, run a marathon, eat a vegan diet, or even join a commune of marathon-running, vegan, nuns!
Your options are as endless as your imagination, and the only criteria is whether your choices fit you. 10 commandments, 7 habits, and 12 steps, 3 wives are all fine as starting points, but merely as starting points. Eventually you must customize and personalize every system, every program, and then move beyond them.
If I say, "Do what feels right to you," too many people take "feels" to mean your current, surface level emotion. But when I'm using the term feel in the context of discovering your own way, I an referring to your deepest, intuitive, non-cognitive knowing. There is a level of consciousness from which you can always determine your own right way of living; you merely need to learn to access it.
And so, starting today, listen for that still, small voice within that will lead you to both discover and create your own way. Pay attention to it, nourish it, allow it to become your number one adviser. Then when you're on your death bed, about to exit stage right, you, like Frank Sinatra, can say, with no regrets, "I did it my way!"
-- Ernie J. Zelinski
Every religious leader, pop philosopher, self-help guru, and best selling pundit wants to tell you how to live. Add in politicians, police, friends, and spouses, and you got a whole helluva lot of people thinking they know what is best for little ole you. Listen, not with a grain, but with a whole friggin ton, of salt! Everyone's got their own perspectives, prejudices, and points of view, and most of them having nothing to do with you.
Your job is to discover your way. It may share certain elements with those closest to you, or it may look entirely different. No matter, as long as it's your own individualized, idiosyncratic, heart-felt way.
Say you want to take your "retirement" from ages 35 to 45, and then go back to work later in life. Fine. God did not decree that you have to wait to retire until you're too damn old to really do anything exciting. You can work weekends and take Tuesday and Wednesday off. You can get up at 4 AM and go to bed at 9 PM. You can live six months of each year in a different locale. You can start a commune, become a nun, run a marathon, eat a vegan diet, or even join a commune of marathon-running, vegan, nuns!
Your options are as endless as your imagination, and the only criteria is whether your choices fit you. 10 commandments, 7 habits, and 12 steps, 3 wives are all fine as starting points, but merely as starting points. Eventually you must customize and personalize every system, every program, and then move beyond them.
If I say, "Do what feels right to you," too many people take "feels" to mean your current, surface level emotion. But when I'm using the term feel in the context of discovering your own way, I an referring to your deepest, intuitive, non-cognitive knowing. There is a level of consciousness from which you can always determine your own right way of living; you merely need to learn to access it.
And so, starting today, listen for that still, small voice within that will lead you to both discover and create your own way. Pay attention to it, nourish it, allow it to become your number one adviser. Then when you're on your death bed, about to exit stage right, you, like Frank Sinatra, can say, with no regrets, "I did it my way!"
How Much Stuff Do You Need?
"Overconsumption is clearly a fundamental problem, not solution, in the maintenance of a healthy economy and planet."
-- David Wann. Simple Prosperity, p. 10.
On the news yesterday there was talk of the Federal Reserve cutting the prime interest rate again in hopes of stimulating consumer spending and avoiding a recession. Their approach is a prime example of the Buy More Crap Theory of Economic Growth. No one cares whether consumers are making smart purchases, necessary purchases, or wasteful purchases; the mantra is just buy, buy, buy!
We can't spend our way out of economic hardship. In fact, overconsumption and overspending are what got us into trouble in the first place. How can you expect economic stability if your whole economy is based on "let's buy more useless shit from China."
And let's not forget happiness. In case you hadn't noticed, it can't be bought. Sure everyone needs the basic necessities of life -- food, clothing, shelter and beer. But economic researchers find that in the USA once a person's income moves above approximately $50,000 a year, incremental satisfaction begins to decrease. In other words what economists call "the law of diminishing returns" begins to kick in. Once you have a good income, making more money does not make you happier. And for alot of people, the exact opposite occurs -- more money creates more problems and less real happiness.
So, far we haven't even touched upon the impact of overconsumption on the planet. We'll leave that for another day, but suffice it to say, it's not pretty. Using more than you need strips the planet of its resources and creates hardship for others. Enough said.
So, just for today, don't buy whatever tickles your fancy. Don't replace a perfectly functional item with a brand new shiny one just because you can. Fuck the Fed! Don't participate in inflating the economic bubble more than it already is. Let the sucker burst! Maybe then, at least, people will begin to pay attention and rebuild a viable, sustainable, cooperative economy based on human needs and true happiness, instead of Madison Avenue consumerism and government hype.
Just for today don't be the little consumerist gerbil that keeps the economic wheel turning. Enjoy what you have.
-- David Wann. Simple Prosperity, p. 10.
On the news yesterday there was talk of the Federal Reserve cutting the prime interest rate again in hopes of stimulating consumer spending and avoiding a recession. Their approach is a prime example of the Buy More Crap Theory of Economic Growth. No one cares whether consumers are making smart purchases, necessary purchases, or wasteful purchases; the mantra is just buy, buy, buy!
We can't spend our way out of economic hardship. In fact, overconsumption and overspending are what got us into trouble in the first place. How can you expect economic stability if your whole economy is based on "let's buy more useless shit from China."
And let's not forget happiness. In case you hadn't noticed, it can't be bought. Sure everyone needs the basic necessities of life -- food, clothing, shelter and beer. But economic researchers find that in the USA once a person's income moves above approximately $50,000 a year, incremental satisfaction begins to decrease. In other words what economists call "the law of diminishing returns" begins to kick in. Once you have a good income, making more money does not make you happier. And for alot of people, the exact opposite occurs -- more money creates more problems and less real happiness.
So, far we haven't even touched upon the impact of overconsumption on the planet. We'll leave that for another day, but suffice it to say, it's not pretty. Using more than you need strips the planet of its resources and creates hardship for others. Enough said.
So, just for today, don't buy whatever tickles your fancy. Don't replace a perfectly functional item with a brand new shiny one just because you can. Fuck the Fed! Don't participate in inflating the economic bubble more than it already is. Let the sucker burst! Maybe then, at least, people will begin to pay attention and rebuild a viable, sustainable, cooperative economy based on human needs and true happiness, instead of Madison Avenue consumerism and government hype.
Just for today don't be the little consumerist gerbil that keeps the economic wheel turning. Enjoy what you have.
Focus=Reality
"In any given moment, it's our focus that determines our emotional reality."
-- Marianne Williamson
You're walking down the street. Are your eyes on the trash in the gutter, or the two five year olds chasing each other around a light pole as they laugh and screech with glee? You're doing your taxes. Do you focus on how little money you made this year in comparison to Bill Gates, or are you grateful for the income you earned and all the other riches you received in the last year? You wake up in the morning. Does your mind begin to dwell on every little ache and pain your body has in store, or are you just glad to have awakened above ground?
The choice of focus is always ours. And the emotional reality, the psychological impact, of what we focus on expands. Look at the dark side, and times seem even darker. Give attention to the positive, and the light shines ever brighter. Our energy feeds whatever we focus upon.
Sure, sometimes your mind flashes over to the negative so damn fast you don't know it until you're half way into a deep, blue funk. But once you realize the yucky state you're in, simply refocus. The positive is always present -- at times it just takes a little psychological detective work to find it. If you choose not to, if you choose to live in a negative emotional space, just don't blame the world for putting you there. The culprit lies between your two ears.
So, starting today, play The Focus Game. In every situation, see how fast you can find something positive. Then let that one positive lead you to all the other positives that surround you. In so doing you will create a strong, empowering emotional reality, a psychological hardiness, and a pattern of positivity that will lead you to greater functionality and ever expanding joy.
-- Marianne Williamson
You're walking down the street. Are your eyes on the trash in the gutter, or the two five year olds chasing each other around a light pole as they laugh and screech with glee? You're doing your taxes. Do you focus on how little money you made this year in comparison to Bill Gates, or are you grateful for the income you earned and all the other riches you received in the last year? You wake up in the morning. Does your mind begin to dwell on every little ache and pain your body has in store, or are you just glad to have awakened above ground?
The choice of focus is always ours. And the emotional reality, the psychological impact, of what we focus on expands. Look at the dark side, and times seem even darker. Give attention to the positive, and the light shines ever brighter. Our energy feeds whatever we focus upon.
Sure, sometimes your mind flashes over to the negative so damn fast you don't know it until you're half way into a deep, blue funk. But once you realize the yucky state you're in, simply refocus. The positive is always present -- at times it just takes a little psychological detective work to find it. If you choose not to, if you choose to live in a negative emotional space, just don't blame the world for putting you there. The culprit lies between your two ears.
So, starting today, play The Focus Game. In every situation, see how fast you can find something positive. Then let that one positive lead you to all the other positives that surround you. In so doing you will create a strong, empowering emotional reality, a psychological hardiness, and a pattern of positivity that will lead you to greater functionality and ever expanding joy.
I Criticize Because I Care
"Everyone is your teacher, and the most powerful spiriutal practice is to hang out with people who criticize you."
-- Byron Katie
These powerful teachers that criticize you so passionately are also known as "mothers." They criticize because they care. As do your siblings, friends, colleagues, maiden aunts, bosses, and elementary school librarians. They all care, but we don't appreciate their care because it comes wrapped in criticism. Appreciation is simple: Just changer the word "bitch" to "guru!"
All joking aside, Katie is oh so right in reminding us that everyone is our teacher. Way too much of the time, we're oblivious to that fact. We see a UPS delivery man rather than a teacher. See him as a teacher, though, and it gives a whole new meaning to, "What can Brown do for you?" The bus driver, burger jockey, nail technician, bartender and massage therapist, are all teachers in disguise, too. Just raising our level of awareness about the teachers all around us will bring us innumerable lessons each day.
But, let's get back to our toughest teachers, the hyper-critical, bastards and bitches who continually gives us a hard time. They are both our greatest challenge and our greatest blessing. Because until we can see each of them through the eyes of love, we still have such a long way to go on the spiritual path. They are our toughest test. And God doesn't grade on a curve. Love One, love all.
So, just for today (and maybe longer), see the criticism as care, see the harshness as blessing, and the bitchiness as love in disguise. Thank each and every one of these jerks, I mean teachers, even if the thank you is only a whisper in your heart. And hey, if you really don't have anybody to criticize you, just give me a call!
-- Byron Katie
These powerful teachers that criticize you so passionately are also known as "mothers." They criticize because they care. As do your siblings, friends, colleagues, maiden aunts, bosses, and elementary school librarians. They all care, but we don't appreciate their care because it comes wrapped in criticism. Appreciation is simple: Just changer the word "bitch" to "guru!"
All joking aside, Katie is oh so right in reminding us that everyone is our teacher. Way too much of the time, we're oblivious to that fact. We see a UPS delivery man rather than a teacher. See him as a teacher, though, and it gives a whole new meaning to, "What can Brown do for you?" The bus driver, burger jockey, nail technician, bartender and massage therapist, are all teachers in disguise, too. Just raising our level of awareness about the teachers all around us will bring us innumerable lessons each day.
But, let's get back to our toughest teachers, the hyper-critical, bastards and bitches who continually gives us a hard time. They are both our greatest challenge and our greatest blessing. Because until we can see each of them through the eyes of love, we still have such a long way to go on the spiritual path. They are our toughest test. And God doesn't grade on a curve. Love One, love all.
So, just for today (and maybe longer), see the criticism as care, see the harshness as blessing, and the bitchiness as love in disguise. Thank each and every one of these jerks, I mean teachers, even if the thank you is only a whisper in your heart. And hey, if you really don't have anybody to criticize you, just give me a call!
Your Attention, Please
"Husbands are like fires, they go out when unattended."
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nothing like a little bon mot from our favorite Hungarian philosopher, Zsa, Zsa Gabor. And, as usual, she's right -- attention is the lifeblood of every relationship. Attention is, on the emotional and psychological level, what blood is on the physical. And it's hard to live without either.
I remember seeing a New Yorker cartoon awhile back that had a panhandler who was not asking for spare change but was instead saying, "Spare a little eye contact?" We all crave attention, and in our culture, eye contact is one of the ways we bestow it.
As I write this I'm in Chicago, but I spend much of my time in a much smaller town. In Chicago, when you're walking down the street, very few people make eye contact. Eye contact acknowledges the existence of another human being, and most people here would just rather not acknowledge you.
And I'm sure they have their reasons. For one thing, just the sheer number of people makes it impractical to exchange pleasantries with, or even nod to, each one. Secondly, some of these folks are just pretty damn scary looking! People hate to even acknowledge that they share the same world with street people, gang bangers, and Republicans!
In small towns it's different, perhaps in part because the population is more homogeneous. People smile, nod, ask how you're doing, make eye contact, even with strangers, as long as they don't look too strange. The attention creates cohesiveness, community.
So, today's assignment (should you decide to accept it) is twofold. First, think about your relationships, both intimate and merely friendly. Which ones are in dire need of your attention to keep them from being like the fire that's "going out?" Once you've made this inventory, pour out some life-giving attention through an email, postcard, phone call, gift, dinner invitation, hot sex, or whatever seems appropriate.
Part two: Give attention, even if it's only eye contact or a smile, to at least one person you don't know who looks like they could really use a little extra acknowledgment. Pick a person that you normally wouldn't interact with, maybe even someone whose been marginalized by our society -- you know, the old, poor, disabled, etc. I'm not saying run down to Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown's neighborhood on the south side of Chicago and start asking "S'up?" to every bad ass on the street, but at least expand your comfort zone a little bit.
Attention is our way of nourishing our fellow earthlings. And a nourished person is a happier person. Do your part for planetary happiness -- pay attention today!
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Nothing like a little bon mot from our favorite Hungarian philosopher, Zsa, Zsa Gabor. And, as usual, she's right -- attention is the lifeblood of every relationship. Attention is, on the emotional and psychological level, what blood is on the physical. And it's hard to live without either.
I remember seeing a New Yorker cartoon awhile back that had a panhandler who was not asking for spare change but was instead saying, "Spare a little eye contact?" We all crave attention, and in our culture, eye contact is one of the ways we bestow it.
As I write this I'm in Chicago, but I spend much of my time in a much smaller town. In Chicago, when you're walking down the street, very few people make eye contact. Eye contact acknowledges the existence of another human being, and most people here would just rather not acknowledge you.
And I'm sure they have their reasons. For one thing, just the sheer number of people makes it impractical to exchange pleasantries with, or even nod to, each one. Secondly, some of these folks are just pretty damn scary looking! People hate to even acknowledge that they share the same world with street people, gang bangers, and Republicans!
In small towns it's different, perhaps in part because the population is more homogeneous. People smile, nod, ask how you're doing, make eye contact, even with strangers, as long as they don't look too strange. The attention creates cohesiveness, community.
So, today's assignment (should you decide to accept it) is twofold. First, think about your relationships, both intimate and merely friendly. Which ones are in dire need of your attention to keep them from being like the fire that's "going out?" Once you've made this inventory, pour out some life-giving attention through an email, postcard, phone call, gift, dinner invitation, hot sex, or whatever seems appropriate.
Part two: Give attention, even if it's only eye contact or a smile, to at least one person you don't know who looks like they could really use a little extra acknowledgment. Pick a person that you normally wouldn't interact with, maybe even someone whose been marginalized by our society -- you know, the old, poor, disabled, etc. I'm not saying run down to Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown's neighborhood on the south side of Chicago and start asking "S'up?" to every bad ass on the street, but at least expand your comfort zone a little bit.
Attention is our way of nourishing our fellow earthlings. And a nourished person is a happier person. Do your part for planetary happiness -- pay attention today!
No Answers
"I should like to insist that nearly all the important questions, the things we ponder in our profoundest moments, have no answers."
-- Jacquetta Hawkes
What is the meaning of life? No answer.
Is there life after death? No answer.
Is there a God? No answer.
Will the Cubs ever win the World Series? No answer, but probably not.
You get the picture. There are no real, true, definitive answers to all of life's really big questions. Oh, sure, there's a whole hell of a lot of speculation, a buttload of belief, and an enormous amount of arguing, fighting, and even killing, but no real, provable answers.
Attempting to provide answers to unanswerable questions is beyond misleading; it's just plain evil. It's also the domain of both religion and philosophy. Many people justify religion by saying that the answers given by the great faiths "console" people. Well, if you can be consoled by stupidity, illogic, and myth, you really don't want to know the true answers, anyway. Academic philosophy, on the other hand, is little more than an intellectual circle jerk that speaks not at all to the general populace, and doesn't even approach the real life questions that intrigue most reasonably intelligent people.
So, what's the logical thing to do when faced with an unanswerable question? Quit trying to answer it! Quit banging your head against the cosmic brick wall, and learn to live comfortably in a space of not knowing. Or as folk singer Iris Dement says in her song of the same name, "let the mystery be."
But is this what religions do? Hell no! They preach, screech, evangelize, and start wars. They attempt to convert the unfaithful to their own favorite brand of half-ass answers. They don't let the mystery be, they package it, sell it, and in so doing destroy it. (Philosophers, generally being a less gregarious lot, merely analyze the mystery to death.)
What's a semi-clear thinking, non-believer to do? Avoid those pre-packaged, freeze dried answers like the plague! Don't get caught up in arguing about the answers to unanswerable questions. Let your life be your answer. Live intuitively from your deepest core, not from shallow beliefs, or sterile intellectual concepts. Mystery is marvelous and oh-so juicy. Enjoy it!
-- Jacquetta Hawkes
What is the meaning of life? No answer.
Is there life after death? No answer.
Is there a God? No answer.
Will the Cubs ever win the World Series? No answer, but probably not.
You get the picture. There are no real, true, definitive answers to all of life's really big questions. Oh, sure, there's a whole hell of a lot of speculation, a buttload of belief, and an enormous amount of arguing, fighting, and even killing, but no real, provable answers.
Attempting to provide answers to unanswerable questions is beyond misleading; it's just plain evil. It's also the domain of both religion and philosophy. Many people justify religion by saying that the answers given by the great faiths "console" people. Well, if you can be consoled by stupidity, illogic, and myth, you really don't want to know the true answers, anyway. Academic philosophy, on the other hand, is little more than an intellectual circle jerk that speaks not at all to the general populace, and doesn't even approach the real life questions that intrigue most reasonably intelligent people.
So, what's the logical thing to do when faced with an unanswerable question? Quit trying to answer it! Quit banging your head against the cosmic brick wall, and learn to live comfortably in a space of not knowing. Or as folk singer Iris Dement says in her song of the same name, "let the mystery be."
But is this what religions do? Hell no! They preach, screech, evangelize, and start wars. They attempt to convert the unfaithful to their own favorite brand of half-ass answers. They don't let the mystery be, they package it, sell it, and in so doing destroy it. (Philosophers, generally being a less gregarious lot, merely analyze the mystery to death.)
What's a semi-clear thinking, non-believer to do? Avoid those pre-packaged, freeze dried answers like the plague! Don't get caught up in arguing about the answers to unanswerable questions. Let your life be your answer. Live intuitively from your deepest core, not from shallow beliefs, or sterile intellectual concepts. Mystery is marvelous and oh-so juicy. Enjoy it!
Pure Being
"He was alone in the doorway, digging the street. Bitterness, recriminations, advice, morality, sadness -- everything was behind him, and ahead of him was the ragged and ecstatic beauty of pure being."
-- Jack Kerouac
"... the ragged and ecstatic beauty of pure being." I love that phrase! Some might think of "pure being" as a clear, white void of peace and clarity. Not Kerouac. He knows that pure being is wild and ecstatic and just a tad bit raggedy around the edges. It is not pure in the sense of Ivory soap or the Virgin Mary pure, but pure in the sense of the whole damn enchilada -- inclusive, unadultrated and missing nothing.
But to access pure being, to really "grok" it, you must go beyond all the judgmental and emotional baggage that most of us carry through life. Pure being will let you in because like attracts like. You are in essence pure being yourself, so welcome home!
But all that other crap, all those states of consciousness that attempt to divide the world into categories and dualities and pit them against each other, they have no access to pure being. You can't get to pure being from them, and so they are blissfully left behind.
Nothing is more mundane and secular than a street. But once dualistic consciousness is left behind, it's easy to "dig" a street, to appreciate it for just what it is, and to see the sacredness of it. And the same goes for bowling balls, ketchup, taxi cabs, and yard ornaments. All sacred, all worth digging.
So, just for today dig it all. Put on your best boddhisattva, beat mindset and leave all the negative emotions behind. Dip your toe, your heart, your mind into "the ragged and ecstatic joy of pure being."
-- Jack Kerouac
"... the ragged and ecstatic beauty of pure being." I love that phrase! Some might think of "pure being" as a clear, white void of peace and clarity. Not Kerouac. He knows that pure being is wild and ecstatic and just a tad bit raggedy around the edges. It is not pure in the sense of Ivory soap or the Virgin Mary pure, but pure in the sense of the whole damn enchilada -- inclusive, unadultrated and missing nothing.
But to access pure being, to really "grok" it, you must go beyond all the judgmental and emotional baggage that most of us carry through life. Pure being will let you in because like attracts like. You are in essence pure being yourself, so welcome home!
But all that other crap, all those states of consciousness that attempt to divide the world into categories and dualities and pit them against each other, they have no access to pure being. You can't get to pure being from them, and so they are blissfully left behind.
Nothing is more mundane and secular than a street. But once dualistic consciousness is left behind, it's easy to "dig" a street, to appreciate it for just what it is, and to see the sacredness of it. And the same goes for bowling balls, ketchup, taxi cabs, and yard ornaments. All sacred, all worth digging.
So, just for today dig it all. Put on your best boddhisattva, beat mindset and leave all the negative emotions behind. Dip your toe, your heart, your mind into "the ragged and ecstatic joy of pure being."
Please See Through Me
"My obligation is this:
To be transparent."
--Pablo Neruda
By the mere fact that we are here, we are meant to be. We are not, however, meant to be anything in particular. Our destiny is not written. Our path, our career, our life, is not predetermined. The only thing that we are meant to be is ourself. And the only obligation that goes with being ourself is that we be it openly, completely, transparently.
A friend said to me a couple of days ago, "In that blog you write on wisdom, you say some pretty stupid stuff." I didn't want to get all defensive and point out to her that the wisdom is in the quotes, not necessarily in my commentary on them, so I said, "Like what?" "You know," she said, "politically incorrect stuff and stuff guaranteed to piss people off."
Damn, cursed by transparency again! My writing simply reflects who I am, including all my contradictions, idiosyncrasies, and peculiarities. I'm not intentionally trying to piss anyone off, but I do acknowledge that political correctness is definitely not my strong suit.
Too often we try to be who, or what, we think we should be. We attempt to project an image, live up to an ideal, or follow a role model. I'm too old for all that nonsense! Here's who I am -- warts, freckles, old age spots, and all. Of course I like it when you like me, but that's hardly the point of either writing or being alive.
Transparency is simply honesty of Being. If I am totally transparent, you not only see me for who I am, you see through me, beyond me, to something greater, something deeper. If I am totally transparent, I become a window into the Divine.
All this through and beyond talk may be way more than Neruda had in mind. But it is indeed the final stop on the transparency train, if you care to go that far. So, just for today, relax and be yourself. Let people see the real you. Don't worry too much about whether they like what they see -- that's their business. Your business is simply to be the multi-faceted diamond that is you.
To be transparent."
--Pablo Neruda
By the mere fact that we are here, we are meant to be. We are not, however, meant to be anything in particular. Our destiny is not written. Our path, our career, our life, is not predetermined. The only thing that we are meant to be is ourself. And the only obligation that goes with being ourself is that we be it openly, completely, transparently.
A friend said to me a couple of days ago, "In that blog you write on wisdom, you say some pretty stupid stuff." I didn't want to get all defensive and point out to her that the wisdom is in the quotes, not necessarily in my commentary on them, so I said, "Like what?" "You know," she said, "politically incorrect stuff and stuff guaranteed to piss people off."
Damn, cursed by transparency again! My writing simply reflects who I am, including all my contradictions, idiosyncrasies, and peculiarities. I'm not intentionally trying to piss anyone off, but I do acknowledge that political correctness is definitely not my strong suit.
Too often we try to be who, or what, we think we should be. We attempt to project an image, live up to an ideal, or follow a role model. I'm too old for all that nonsense! Here's who I am -- warts, freckles, old age spots, and all. Of course I like it when you like me, but that's hardly the point of either writing or being alive.
Transparency is simply honesty of Being. If I am totally transparent, you not only see me for who I am, you see through me, beyond me, to something greater, something deeper. If I am totally transparent, I become a window into the Divine.
All this through and beyond talk may be way more than Neruda had in mind. But it is indeed the final stop on the transparency train, if you care to go that far. So, just for today, relax and be yourself. Let people see the real you. Don't worry too much about whether they like what they see -- that's their business. Your business is simply to be the multi-faceted diamond that is you.
A Tarnished Halo
"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
--H.G. Wells
Morals? Forget about 'em! Most moral systems are just control mechanisms developed by the scared and the weak to allay their fears that somebody out there might actually be having more fun than they are.
As I expressed in a previous post: You only legislate for yourself. You can make all the behavioral rules you want, but they only apply to you.
The question is: Why even try and apply them to others? Wells answer of "jealousy" rings at least partially true. But even deeper than jealousy runs the river of fear. It's the fear that if we just let people do whatever they want all hell will break loose. As if adults having consensual sex out of wedlock, or smoking a little dope in the privacy of their own living room, are going to destroy the entire nation!
The other tributary of the river of fear is belief. That may sound strange, but many people justify oppressive moral rules and regulations by saying things like "I believe in the Bible." Or the Koran, or any so-called holy book you care to name. True believers act as if their belief gives them the right, even the duty, to force their beliefs and morals upon the rest of us. Sheer lunacy!
Clear away all the hype and the crap and the fear and the prophets, and it's really quite simple: Everyone should be able to do whatever they want as long as in so doing they do not infringe upon the rights of others.
So, if the hooker on the street corner wants to sell her body for peanuts, let her. It's her body. Don't worry, she's not selling yours. If you feel sorry for her, feel she's being exploited, then use education, or persuasion, not legislation or law enforcement to change things. Or just mind your own damn business. There are lots of other ways in which you can do your part to make the world a better place.
Same goes for drug usage, consensual sex, and all other victimless crimes. Adults should be free to choose what they want to do as long as they are not restraining the freedom of others in the process. Each person develops their own behavioral rules that apply only to them.
By all means set your own standards of behavior. And then be a shining example to others by living by them. What you do speaks much louder than what you say, anyway.
So, just for today, become clear about your personal rules of living, and live by them -- impeccably. And when you catch yourself judging others by your moral standards relax, let go, replace judgement with love, and smile, smile, smile.
--H.G. Wells
Morals? Forget about 'em! Most moral systems are just control mechanisms developed by the scared and the weak to allay their fears that somebody out there might actually be having more fun than they are.
As I expressed in a previous post: You only legislate for yourself. You can make all the behavioral rules you want, but they only apply to you.
The question is: Why even try and apply them to others? Wells answer of "jealousy" rings at least partially true. But even deeper than jealousy runs the river of fear. It's the fear that if we just let people do whatever they want all hell will break loose. As if adults having consensual sex out of wedlock, or smoking a little dope in the privacy of their own living room, are going to destroy the entire nation!
The other tributary of the river of fear is belief. That may sound strange, but many people justify oppressive moral rules and regulations by saying things like "I believe in the Bible." Or the Koran, or any so-called holy book you care to name. True believers act as if their belief gives them the right, even the duty, to force their beliefs and morals upon the rest of us. Sheer lunacy!
Clear away all the hype and the crap and the fear and the prophets, and it's really quite simple: Everyone should be able to do whatever they want as long as in so doing they do not infringe upon the rights of others.
So, if the hooker on the street corner wants to sell her body for peanuts, let her. It's her body. Don't worry, she's not selling yours. If you feel sorry for her, feel she's being exploited, then use education, or persuasion, not legislation or law enforcement to change things. Or just mind your own damn business. There are lots of other ways in which you can do your part to make the world a better place.
Same goes for drug usage, consensual sex, and all other victimless crimes. Adults should be free to choose what they want to do as long as they are not restraining the freedom of others in the process. Each person develops their own behavioral rules that apply only to them.
By all means set your own standards of behavior. And then be a shining example to others by living by them. What you do speaks much louder than what you say, anyway.
So, just for today, become clear about your personal rules of living, and live by them -- impeccably. And when you catch yourself judging others by your moral standards relax, let go, replace judgement with love, and smile, smile, smile.
Every Little Thing...
"Every small task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe."
-- St. Theresa of Lisieux
As St. Terri tells us, there are no unimportant actions. Every little thing is sacred. Every small task is a piece in the beautiful mosaic of life.
I know it's tempting to think that the little things don't matter. That doing the dishes, attending a boring meeting, trimming your toenails, or responding to an e-mail, is so trivial as to be undeserving of your full attention. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The universe is composed of these seemingly small, trivial, and unimportant events. It is our attention, our consciousness that brings these little things to life. We create harmony, or disharmony, in the universe by the way we do the things we do. We make the universe either sacred or profane by the quality of consciousness we bring to it.
This does not mean that we have to be all paranoid, anal, and uptight about our actions. We can give our attention fully, but lightly, flowingly. Seriousness and consciousness are not the same thing. You can be aware, conscious and attentive without being sanctimonious, stiff and serious.
Remember: Life is too sacred to be taken seriously!
So (you knew it was coming), just for today, focus on the little things. Impeccably do the small stuff. Major in minor things. It may be hard to ascertain the "total harmony of the universe," but by focusing on the immaterial and insignificant, you'll definitely feel your own personal world coming into greater harmony. And perhaps that is as much as any one person can do.
-- St. Theresa of Lisieux
As St. Terri tells us, there are no unimportant actions. Every little thing is sacred. Every small task is a piece in the beautiful mosaic of life.
I know it's tempting to think that the little things don't matter. That doing the dishes, attending a boring meeting, trimming your toenails, or responding to an e-mail, is so trivial as to be undeserving of your full attention. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The universe is composed of these seemingly small, trivial, and unimportant events. It is our attention, our consciousness that brings these little things to life. We create harmony, or disharmony, in the universe by the way we do the things we do. We make the universe either sacred or profane by the quality of consciousness we bring to it.
This does not mean that we have to be all paranoid, anal, and uptight about our actions. We can give our attention fully, but lightly, flowingly. Seriousness and consciousness are not the same thing. You can be aware, conscious and attentive without being sanctimonious, stiff and serious.
Remember: Life is too sacred to be taken seriously!
So (you knew it was coming), just for today, focus on the little things. Impeccably do the small stuff. Major in minor things. It may be hard to ascertain the "total harmony of the universe," but by focusing on the immaterial and insignificant, you'll definitely feel your own personal world coming into greater harmony. And perhaps that is as much as any one person can do.
Withholding
"Something we were withholding made us weak
Until we found out it was ourselves."
-- Robert Frost
The meaning of this quotation is as obvious as JLo's hiney: Withholding weakens. And yet, much of the time, we live in a perpetual state of withholding. We hold back our opinions, afraid that someone will ridicule them. We withhold our talents, afraid that we might fail. We withhold our beauty, our skills, our wisdom and our laughter from a world that desperately needs all those things, and, yes, needs them from us!
Most of all we withhold ourselves. We "play small," as Marianne Williamson calls it. We "hide our light under a bushel," as the Bible says. We don't give of ourselves because we're afraid that in so doing we will deplete our reserves, be played for the fool, or regret it later. We don't give of ourselves because we are afraid that it will weaken us, when the exact opposite is true.
Withholding weakens us. Fear weakens us. Giving strengthens each of us, all of us.
I know you give. You give everyday. All of us do to one degree or another. To live is to give. What I'm asking you to do today is to give more consciously. Don't be so picky about where or how you give. Give in response to need, not where, when and how your ego feels most comfortable giving.
Ask yourself, "What part of myself I am withholding?" It may be your knowledge, your passion, your care, your unique sense of humor. It is almost always your love. Love withheld is love denied. You can't stockpile love for a rainy day. Love withheld atrophies, sours, and loses its potency. In sharing we not only strengthen others, we strengthen ourselves and strengthen our capacity to love.
So, just for today use your love muscle. (Hey, no snickers for the peanut gallery!). Let your love light shine. And watch your strength grow!
Until we found out it was ourselves."
-- Robert Frost
The meaning of this quotation is as obvious as JLo's hiney: Withholding weakens. And yet, much of the time, we live in a perpetual state of withholding. We hold back our opinions, afraid that someone will ridicule them. We withhold our talents, afraid that we might fail. We withhold our beauty, our skills, our wisdom and our laughter from a world that desperately needs all those things, and, yes, needs them from us!
Most of all we withhold ourselves. We "play small," as Marianne Williamson calls it. We "hide our light under a bushel," as the Bible says. We don't give of ourselves because we're afraid that in so doing we will deplete our reserves, be played for the fool, or regret it later. We don't give of ourselves because we are afraid that it will weaken us, when the exact opposite is true.
Withholding weakens us. Fear weakens us. Giving strengthens each of us, all of us.
I know you give. You give everyday. All of us do to one degree or another. To live is to give. What I'm asking you to do today is to give more consciously. Don't be so picky about where or how you give. Give in response to need, not where, when and how your ego feels most comfortable giving.
Ask yourself, "What part of myself I am withholding?" It may be your knowledge, your passion, your care, your unique sense of humor. It is almost always your love. Love withheld is love denied. You can't stockpile love for a rainy day. Love withheld atrophies, sours, and loses its potency. In sharing we not only strengthen others, we strengthen ourselves and strengthen our capacity to love.
So, just for today use your love muscle. (Hey, no snickers for the peanut gallery!). Let your love light shine. And watch your strength grow!
Manifest Yor Blessings!
"You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings."
-- Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love, p. 260)
Blessings abound! But they don't come to fruition without your participation. I mean, God provides worms for the birds, but He doesn't just throw them in their nests!
You and God are co-creators of your reality. You can rest assured that he'll do His part, just make sure that you do yours.
And the first step in doing yours is just to recognize how many friggin' blessings you have. So, make a list. Write down everything that you're thankful for, every way in which you feel blessed. Then do the old prioritization dance and decide which of those blessings you'd really like to see manifest more abundantly in your life.
You're done with the easy part; now it's time to get to work, to do the business of co-creating. And what might that work look like? It might look like praying, fervently. It might look like real, roll up your sleeves, down and dirty work. It might look like research or socializing or even fun.
You may not actually know what it is that you have to do to make your blessings blossom, so don't be afraid to go the trial and error route. Just make sure that your participation is relentless. We've all heard the old saw "God helps those who help themselves." Still true, still true. By goosing your blessings along, you literally take their manifestation into your own blessed hands. And nothing brings more blessings your way than really enjoying, and taking advantage of, the ones you already have.
-- Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love, p. 260)
Blessings abound! But they don't come to fruition without your participation. I mean, God provides worms for the birds, but He doesn't just throw them in their nests!
You and God are co-creators of your reality. You can rest assured that he'll do His part, just make sure that you do yours.
And the first step in doing yours is just to recognize how many friggin' blessings you have. So, make a list. Write down everything that you're thankful for, every way in which you feel blessed. Then do the old prioritization dance and decide which of those blessings you'd really like to see manifest more abundantly in your life.
You're done with the easy part; now it's time to get to work, to do the business of co-creating. And what might that work look like? It might look like praying, fervently. It might look like real, roll up your sleeves, down and dirty work. It might look like research or socializing or even fun.
You may not actually know what it is that you have to do to make your blessings blossom, so don't be afraid to go the trial and error route. Just make sure that your participation is relentless. We've all heard the old saw "God helps those who help themselves." Still true, still true. By goosing your blessings along, you literally take their manifestation into your own blessed hands. And nothing brings more blessings your way than really enjoying, and taking advantage of, the ones you already have.
You Can't Plan Life
"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."
-- John Lennon
So, you've made your New Year's resolutions, set your goals, created your vision, planned your work, and now you're ready to work your plan. Great! Just don't think for a minute that it will really turn out that way.
Think back to high school. Did you ever imagine then, that at this age, at this stage of your life, you'd be doing what you're doing now? Of course not; you didn't have a clue! And it isn't just because you were young and naive then. It's because Life, thank God, doesn't fit into our nice, neat little categories, doesn't kowtow to our to-do lists, doesn't respect our expectations. Life is unpredictable, unquantifiable, unfreakinbelievable!
So, if you're making a whole PDA full of plans for the new year, fine. Just remember to plan to be spontaneous, envision yourself as adaptable, set a goal not to miss all the serendipitous opportunities that are sure to come your way. I'm kidding. Sort of.
Perhaps the one thing you can do to harmonize most seamlessly with Life is to just be aware. Life is consciousness, and the more conscious you are of all that is around you and within you, the more you and Life will get along just fine. You'll even come to resemble each other, like that old lady down the street and the dog she's had for such a long, long time.
So, not just for today, for the whole New Year, even better for now until forever, ride the waves of this tsunami called Life. And as you do, simply be aware, be aware, be aware.
-- John Lennon
So, you've made your New Year's resolutions, set your goals, created your vision, planned your work, and now you're ready to work your plan. Great! Just don't think for a minute that it will really turn out that way.
Think back to high school. Did you ever imagine then, that at this age, at this stage of your life, you'd be doing what you're doing now? Of course not; you didn't have a clue! And it isn't just because you were young and naive then. It's because Life, thank God, doesn't fit into our nice, neat little categories, doesn't kowtow to our to-do lists, doesn't respect our expectations. Life is unpredictable, unquantifiable, unfreakinbelievable!
So, if you're making a whole PDA full of plans for the new year, fine. Just remember to plan to be spontaneous, envision yourself as adaptable, set a goal not to miss all the serendipitous opportunities that are sure to come your way. I'm kidding. Sort of.
Perhaps the one thing you can do to harmonize most seamlessly with Life is to just be aware. Life is consciousness, and the more conscious you are of all that is around you and within you, the more you and Life will get along just fine. You'll even come to resemble each other, like that old lady down the street and the dog she's had for such a long, long time.
So, not just for today, for the whole New Year, even better for now until forever, ride the waves of this tsunami called Life. And as you do, simply be aware, be aware, be aware.
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