Quit Trying to Be Happy!

"If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we'd have a pretty good time."

-- Edith Wharton

It's the Holiday Season, and we're all hellbent on happiness. This Christmas, this Hanukkah, this Kwanza has got to be bigger, better, and more lavish than the last. More=happiness, is the unspoken equation. Does your Festivus really have to out do the rest of us?

And then there's family. Nothing guarantees happiness like "forced fun" with people you haven't gotten along with well for years! Maybe another cup of egg nog will do the trick. Add two parts seething resentment to one part alcohol, and you'll have such a delicious cocktail!

OK, OK it's not really that bad. At least in most families. But exaggeration brings the picture into sharp focus. The more we "try" to be happy, especially in ways prescribed to us by society or others, the less likelihood there is that we will experience real happiness. Trying is always one step away from Being.

Sure, we all want to be happy. The paradox is that pursuing happiness does not produce happiness. Happiness is a byproduct. What is it a byproduct of? Ah, now that is a question that each of us must answer for ourselves.

Edith gives us a really hot clue, though -- quit trying. Enjoy the here, the now, and whatever and whoever is around you. Do what you like to do, and in the very doing happiness will arise. Pay attention to life, "follow your bliss," and lo and behold you find you're having a damn good time!